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Joshua Govender

Communication

Joshua Govender
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We often think we have our lives figured out. Believing we have it all together, especially when we are single. As you enter into the dating phase, you start to realise that you aren’t actually as perfect as you thought you were. You begin to see things about yourself that you don’t really want to see.

I’ve recently got engaged and I’m now planning towards getting marriage and to be honest I thought I was a well put together person. But maybe I’m not as together as I thought.

The one thing I’ve realised is that I’m not great at communication. Whether it’s WhatsApp, phone calls, chatting or even just alone time. I just struggle with it.

Recently my fiance and I had a massive fight over this area in our relationship. To me, it never really seemed important or something that was at the top of the list of things I need to work on. I’m quickly realising that I was very wrong.

Why do we need communication? Well, you don’t need communication if you’re happy to be a loner and have no friends, get the picture?

I’ve been learning in order for your life to have clarity and move forward, you need to be able to communicate.

Here are a few keys that can help your communication.

Learn to listen.

My biggest problem is that I struggle to concentrate on one thing at a time, so listening is hard for me because you have to sit and actually take in what someone is saying. This isn’t an overnight skill, it does take time. I’m still on this journey but I’m challenging myself to listen for longer and longer.

It’s all about the detail.

I’ve noticed especially when you are dating or if you have a life partner, that detail is key. Even if it is the smallest of things and may seem like not a big deal to you but you will never how details bring clarity to any situation or any conversation. Detail is always good.

It’s a journey.

Understand that great communication is a journey. I don’t ever think it’s an overnight success, one day you don’t have it the next you do have it. I believe that in order to become great at communication, whether about your feelings, details or life matters. It will always be a journey but it is one you should be on.

Don’t give up on trying to always be better at communication.

God Speed.

New season

Joshua Govender
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New season

It’s funny how a new season can change your perspective on so many things. When I say new season I mean “new season” somethings that’s totally out of my comfort zone yet somehow some way it feels awesome.

I recently started a new line of work which is awesome but also interesting, is now in the fashion industry which is cool, in managing a 3month pop up store which is great. The hours are okay and the pay is good but in this season this step of faith is needed.

Its crazy to me how one little step can totally change your whole season, not in a bad way but in a different way. For example, my focus is now my work. My focus is also my wedding and everything that comes with that but it’s pretty nice being in this season

Some things I’ve learnt in this season it in.

1. Appreciation

You learn to appreciate the time you do get when you do things you love, for example, me playing music and being in church, I’ve learnt to maximise my time in church now which is awesome for because you feel way more productive.

2. You grow tougher skin

Sometimes going into a new season it’s hard to not look back to the past seasons and not wish you’re there, also when you move into a new season sometimes people are people and they say hurtful things or view you differently. I’ve learnt that in this season growing a tougher skin and being confident in my season is better than allowing everything to effect this awesome life stepped in.

3. Growing in capacity

Every season I feel like my capacity grows a little, even if it may not feel it physically some way or some form my capacity grows. Whatever reason you are entering into or whatever season you may be in always make sure that you are growing as a person. Ways that help me grow is reading great leadership books or teaching. Sometimes watching someone’s life is the greatest lesson.

Whatever season you find yourself in, new, old or repetitive don’t ever forget to own the season you are in, never lose hope for your future and appreciate everything that comes with a new season, the good and the bad.

Godspeed.

3 ways to have a healthy mind.

Joshua Govender
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3 ways to have a healthy mind.

Over the past few months because of how busy life can become, I’ve started realising the value of having a healthy mind.

It may not sound like a big deal and often I’ve thought I have a healthy mind only to realise that this isn’t actually the case.

When my mind is healthy I’m at a place where I’m not complacent, I get the job done and mentally I’m motivated to do what I need to do.

Whenever my mind is a bit tired and unhealthy I feel drained, I get a bit complacent, I start comparing my journey with others. It often takes me a little while to snap out of it. Which is why I do my best to keep my mind healthy.

I know it’s almost impossible to have a healthy mind all the time but I started thinking of ways that would help me not to feel worn out and stretched especially during long stressful seasons.

Here are a few things that help me to keep my mind in a healthy place and you may find them helpful too:

Finding rest.

Often we say we need to rest and rest is important but most of the time the reason why we are not rested is because we don’t look for rest. In other words, as much as we need to find time to rest, we also need to make time to rest.  This could mean getting away from people, social media and all the things keep our brains busy when they should be taking a break.

A Proper diet.

Part of keeping my mind healthy was understanding that I shouldn’t eat certain thing or eat at certain times. Sometimes the foods I eat affect how I start my day, which affects how I feel and think during the day. It may not seem like it’s relevant to a healthy mind but understanding that your long-term health and needs should come before your short-term satisfaction. Often that means having a disciplined diet or staying away from certain things to best understand how your mind works.

Do something different.

I’ve found that doing something different in the week or every day, depending on how much free time you have helps your brain focus better when you need it to. When I feel tired and worn out and can’t really think of anything I begin to do something that I haven’t done in a long time to help my brain rest and recover.

I hope these help you. I know this is very practical and hopefully by making a concerted effort to safeguard your mind and work at keeping it healthy, will keep you from burning out and help you cope with your day to day responsibilities better.

God speed.

Awkward moments

Joshua Govender
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Awkward moments

I’m getting married soon and as per tradition, you are required to do certain things in the lead up to the big day. One of these things is an engagement shoot. Usually, I’m not awkward in front of the camera but for some reason, this time, I felt very awkward.

We decided on doing a city shoot and I love the city but I didn’t realise how self-conscious I would feel, even though we had a friend shoot our engagement photos.

I think it was more the fact that there were people around and they all were staring at us like we were weirdos.

We spent most of the time shooting in crowds. We got some pretty cool city shots and as time went on the process felt more comfortable. In fact I’d go as far to say that there was something freeing about the situation, even though intially it was really awkward.

I began to think how awesome awkward moments are sometimes. It’s not unusual to hate those awkward moments where the attention is all on you and you don’t know how to feel or react or even smile. Despite this there is also something freeing within every awkward moment, if you take the moment to embrace it.

Sometimes stepping out and “owning” the awkwardness can lead to something really great! You never know you may discover something new about yourself.

So instead of skipping past those awkward moments as quickly as possible, why not try these suggestions and begin owning the awkwardness.

Make a joke

Sometimes the best way to make an awkward situation or moment better is just to make a joke. Please use your own discretion, in some situations a funny moment would be inappropriate but sometimes in order to own an awkward moment confidently it helps to add a little laughter.

The topic change

Sometimes in awkward situations in order to regain confidence, changing the topic helps. To be honest this tactic doesn’t always make things less awkward, but it can helps keep the conversation going or act as a welcome distraction.

Understand what type of person you are

Some people love awkward moments, they thrive off of them, while others want to curl up in a little ball and die when awkward moments happen. I’m the type of person that hates awkward moments. When you understand what type of person you are it makes it easier to navigate the conversation.

Don’t ever stop getting yourself into awkward moments. You never know what might happen.

God speed.

3 keys to leadership

Joshua Govender
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3 keys to leadership

There are many principles to leadership and to be honest I feel it’s all objective. In the end, you could read a book about how to lead and the way you interpret it could be very different to someone else’s point of view.

In saying all of this, I’ve sifted through a few leadership thoughts that have helped me and will hopefully be of benefit to you too.

There are obviously more than just three key but I feel as though these points I feel could really be of value if you apply them to the way you lead.

Thinking

Often, as leaders we forget to think things through. Sometimes we try too hard to make sure everything gets done or try to fix everything but forget to take a step back and think through what exactly we are doing and what we are trying to achieve. You are always told to think before you act but when you actually remember apply thought to teams and life – it really does make leading others a whole lot easier.

Watching

Be aware of everything. It’s not about being creepy and stalking people. It’s actually more about being aware of yourself and the leaders around you, and of course – what you can learn from them. What to do and what not to do. This also applies to being aware of those you are leading and making sure that you are aware of what they are doing and where they are. It’s about going beyond just knowing someone’s name but making an effort to knowing your team on a personal level.

Action

Taking action is a vital step of leadership. Making sure that as a leader you follow through with everything you say.

These are a few things that help me to move forward as a leader.

Godspeed.

Campfire stories

Joshua Govender
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Campfire stories

Why is it that when you sit around a camp fire either really scary stories come out or deep dark secrets come out? It’s like a campfire has this magical power over people that makes them really vulnerable.

We were in Betty’s bay for a few days. Just a little get-away and as you do, we made a campfire. We sat around until the early hours of the morning and just the boys were left. Being boys, we always tell our craziest stories when it’s just us and a fire.

One by one we started talking. It was actually pretty cool because I learnt a lot about my friends. Stuff that we wouldn’t usually talk about. It was actually kind of fun.

We spoke until 2am. It’s crazy how time flies when you are with friends and just having a good time.

I started thinking about how crazy it is, and how vulnerable people can get, around something as simple as a fire. Maybe the fire has a relaxing effect or maybe it’s just what happens when you stay up late, but it was awesome to interact on a real level.

I felt like every conversation I have, I should bring a portable fire with me so I can get people to be real.

It was good getting to know my friends on a deeper level. Don’t ever forget to be real with people, you don’t need a fire to do that. You can be real whenever. It just takes a little push.

One thing I loved about campfire stories is that no matter what everyone is going through you can come and just relax and talk with some good mates and it’s even better fire.

Cheers to all the people who love campfires. Even though you smell like smoke the next day, its worth every bit.

Godspeed.

Dare to be adventurous!

Joshua Govender
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Dare to be adventurous!

Sometimes you need a little adventure, it’s the best thing ever. Over the past week, I have been on adventure, after adventure and it’s literally been the most amazing time. Discovering new things, pushing myself out of my comfort zone. It was like being a kid again and everything was awesome for a few days.

I chopped wood to make a fire and bathed in water from the mountain. Even making a fire felt like a whole new experience.

One thing I learnt during this time is that you should never lose the mystery of things. Keep a child-like sense of wonder when you go out into the world. Breaking away and going on adventures can help you see the world in a brighter and more fun light.

Even something as simple as running on the beach or playing catch with a few friends. This holiday really reminded me about how to really enjoy life.

Sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to have a little fun in the midst of your day to day routine. Even when you feel like you can’t do something (I found chopping wood a challenge), it can still be enjoyable.

Being adventurous doesn’t make you immature or mean you’re irresponsible. Being adventurous, reminds you that you can enjoy the simple things in life. Sometimes we lose the enjoyment of being alive because of stress. However, just by taking a break and trying something new you can be reminded that life is a gift and should be enjoyed not just endured.

So go out there and find the fun in your life. Be a little more adventurous, I dare you!

Godspeed.

Bare necessities

Joshua Govender
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Bare necessities

The past week I took a few days off to get some rest and much needed time to myself. So, I went on a trip with a few friends. It was actually pretty awesome. Our first stop we landed in Hermanus. A little beach town, in the middle of nowhere with no electricity.

We had to make a fire every day for heat and we showered and drank water from the waterfall behind the house. It was a very surreal experience. It made me realise how much we take for granted. Simple things like clean water, electricity, and a comfortable, warm home.

It made me appreciate things a whole lot more. It was good to have a perspective shift. Some people don’t actually have running water or the essentials that we take for granted.

It was quite an experience to have everything stripped back to the bare necessities. Each morning getting up early to chop wood for heat and fire, so that we could make food. I never thought I would enjoy nature and life outside the city as much as I did this past week. There were so many memorable moments that I couldn’t even count.

If I ever need a getaway from the city to just relax and gain perspective again, this would be the only way I would do it. It opened my mind to a whole new world of creativity and living.

Never ever forget the smaller things in life; sometimes we live life so fast and always meeting deadlines that we forget to stop and really look around at all the blessings and everything that can so easily seem insignificant.

Always open your eyes to thing that can inspire you again; never lose sight of humble beginnings.

Godspeed.

Why rest is crucial

Joshua Govender
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Why rest is crucial

You know how I know when I need rest? It  is when I start feeling a little insecure about things I’ve actually overcome. As soon as that happens, I know it’s time for a vacation.

I’ve taken two weeks off from church (where I volunteer) and most of the things I’m involved with, which means I have two weeks to read and just gain perspective again on what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. Excuse my blunt honesty: I love people, but sometimes a few days away from people helps me to come back even stronger, ready to love people and see their lives changed.

I was thinking about the concept of rest and it’s funny – in the past I would push myself even through sickness. I wouldn’t care what it was; I would just keep going. I never really knew what effect it had on my body until a few years later. I began to get very ill almost every month. My thinking changed: where I would normally be a positive guy I began to think negative thoughts not only about people, but about myself.

Insecurities that I thought I had dealt with a long time ago began to resurface and began to do something in my heart. This was all caused by a lack of rest. Something as simple as that. If I knew what I know now back then, life now would be a little different – at least my thinking would be a little different.

I’m learning the power of rest and to actually be away from regular everyday life and go away to a place where I have no stress or worries.

We have to learn to never feel guilty or have a fear of missing out. Rest is vital for mental and physical health.

Sometimes getting away only brings you back stronger. Why give 50% when you can give 100%?

Godspeed.

Don’t act out of desperation

Joshua Govender
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Don’t act out of desperation

I recently learnt a pretty hard lesson – I learnt not to act out of desperation or frustration.

I got offered a job that sounded pretty sweet: the bosses seemed awesome and everything was great except for one thing: it didn’t sit right with me.

In my heart I knew it wasn’t for me but in my head, I needed the money and it sounded good in theory. When I looked into it a little more and looked at what it would require from me, I realised that it would have taken a lot more out of me than I had thought.

It meant I would have to isolate myself from everyone because of the hours. It also meant that my church life would be nonexistent.

I learnt some valuable lessons during this experience. One of them being that just because it sounds great and looks great doesn’t mean it is great for you specifically. Sometimes our human tendency is to act out of desperation and cling to stability and we end up working dead-end jobs that leave you more frustrated than blessed.

We try and get ahead in the short term instead of thinking things through and actually making sure that our needs come first.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe everyone should earn a living and not wait around for handouts – but don’t ever lose hope in the fact the God has something bigger and better for you.

You don’t need to lose yourself in order to make it in life; you can be successful and have everything you need without having to act out of desperation.

Godspeed.

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