Friday, July 19, 2024
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I Wish I Had a Body Like Her..!

I wish I had her job. I wish I had her clothes. I wish I had their lifestyle. I wish I had a body like her………

Maybe if I had those things (whatever your sentence), then maybe I would feel better, feel more like them and less like me?

Sound familiar?

We always “post , regram, retweet” familiar quotes like “Comparison is the thief of joy!” followed by “YEAH, I’m so owning this, I am so owning me, in this moment, in this season” #killingit.

But then two minutes later on social media, or in a passing conversation we’re back to “Ah man, I also want to have those things, or do those things, or be more like that!” #depressed .


Or maybe you get annoyed when they tweet yet another fantastic thing that’s just happened to them!


Then you quickly scroll past their tweets or updates, and make a point of not liking or favouriting what they’ve typed. Because that will show them! Right? – Anyone relate?

I know for me, I will go through ups and downs. Loving life, then not loving life! I have moments where I feel like I am owning who I am, and where I am. Then a few moments later, I’m back to feeling frustrated, irritated, maybe even a little jealous after seeing how somebody else is doing life right!

The thing is when I start comparing, and wanting what others are having I have to stop and ask myself: “Yeah, but if you had to get THOSE things would you feel better long term, or would you still bounce back and forth with this feeling?” The answer is a flat NO.


If I had to have the things that I think I am wanting in those moments, I would end up not looking, or sounding or behaving like me.


There’s a difference between being inspired by someone, that it encourages you to want to improve your life, to that of not feeling happy about who you are in comparison to THAT person or ideal (if that makes sense).

I’ve seen some girls get really nasty about other women’s successes, it’s quite sad actually. Some girls or guys get caught up in it so much that they stop looking at their lives with a heart of gratitude, and get really frustrated because they are so caught up in comparing their world with somebody else’s.

We need to stop doing it, or catch and stop ourselves the minute we start comparing and say: “No thanks I won’t have what they are having, but I’ll have what I’m having!

The truth is, no one can do what you do the way you do, for the specific purpose in mind like you. Wishing and wanting things is okay, but it shouldn’t distract us from what we SHOULD be doing right now.

Because when we let it get into our hearts :

  • We lose focus
  • It steals our joy, and our contentment
  • We then live very small lives

God formed you so intricately, knowing that you would be designed for a SPECIFIC purpose. Find out what you are passionate about, as that is often linked to our purpose. Once you find out what you are passionate about, and start to know and understand what your gifts and strengths are, find ways to express them. Celebrate who you are, bless others with who you are, and be grateful for who you are and what you have. A spirit of gratitude softens our hearts, keeps us focused, and fills us with passion for what we do. Don’t lose sight on who you are, and what you have to offer the world. The world doesn’t need carbon copies or creepy clones; the world needs us to be exactly who we are, adding only what we can add to it!

If you’re still trying figure out exactly who YOU are, why not click on the pop-up or banner below.

Author: Cassan Ferguson
Twitter: @cassanferguson
Instagram: @cassanferguson

Are you Afraid to Step Forward and Let Your Brokenness be Healed?

Do not be afraid.
Do not be afraid.
Do not be afraid

Those were the words I would repeat to myself, again and again, on nights that I thought I would not survive. I was alone in a dirty bare room and it was 3am. I’d been trying to steer clear of drugs for a couple of months now. I had decided, on the night that blood started gushing out of my nose, that I would eventually crash, burn and die if I didn’t do something, anything, to stop the wild, horrendous life I was living. Every day was one long cluttered haze. Every moment was unbearable. I was on drugs, overweight, sick and going nowhere. My life had the reject stamp on it.


And the worst part of it was, I was terribly, horribly alone. I felt like a living corpse. I lived like a zombie.


Without any kind of alcohol or drugs to ease the powerful, raw, restless pain inside of me, I was a mess. So I did the only thing I thought I could do. I locked myself in the bare, smelly apartment that was my living quarters, and I sat and waited for something to happen, something to change. I knew that if I let myself out of the house that I would be found in a gutter somewhere, dead. So, night after night, I sat straight up on my old bed, in clothes that I hadn’t washed for months, and repeated this phrase, crying out to an invisible God, in the wild hope that maybe fear would leave me, that maybe death would stop chasing me, and that maybe, one day, peace would find me.

It is years later now, and I look back upon those days with a deep sense of relief that that life has been saved and rescued by God. My soul is healed, my heart is whole, and there is a sweetness to my life now that is truly profound. I am a different woman and I wake up every day with a rising hope in my heart. Life is filled with colour, vibrancy, passion, and energy. I surprise myself every day with who I’ve become. And all because, one day, the Creator of the Universe came to my tiny little room, where I thought the world had chewed on me and spat me out, and gave my dying heart a breath of life.

Journeying through this path has not been easy, and there are days where, like anyone, my human heart wrestles with hurts and issues beyond my control. But I am not alone now. I have the presence of an incredible God who is there to offer life, love, comfort and counsel. Yet, in the quiet moments of our time together, I wonder about the other ones just like me. The ones who have been left behind, who sit in their room, alone and hurting, unable to go back to where they came from but completely incapable of moving forward. The ones who are stuck like glue, motionless and gathering dust like old forgotten toys.

Inner fear is a monster that grows inside of us. Sometimes it is inflicted upon us from birth, sometimes the lives we live let terrible things happen to us that are beyond our control. Our newspapers splash out headlines of death and tragedy every single day. But what about the tragedies that aren’t seen from a newspaper headline? What about the deaths of people who look like just another member of the human race, who live a “normal” life on the outside, but are in complete and utter agony on the inside? The world that we live in is, most times, a cruel and unsafe place for the broken and hurting. Hearts that were full of dreams die a slow death. Nevertheless, there are some people who are able to carry on until the day they leave this earth. The rest, however, get caught up in a downward spiral that leads to a total destruction of body and soul.



How terribly sad it would be if those ones truly died before they truly lived!


And so I say this. To the ones who get through the day but actually lie about in the shadows, there is hope for the soul. To the ones who only know and understand constant, and ongoing anguish, know that there is a different knowledge, a different way. There is absolutely nothing that can mend a bloody and bruised heart, there is no pleasure that can take away the pain, except for the One who formed your very bones, the One who created your existence. When the world around you seeks to tear you down, He seeks to build you up. He can make what is unclean clean. He can take the ugly, the diseased, the terrible things we cannot face ourselves, and clean it up. He will never leave, never give up, never fail and never die. He can show you a love that will calm you and bring peace to the storm of your life. He is always there. We cannot look for Him in any building or place. He is right there, right next to you, waiting for you to ask Him to come inside of your secret place. And, if this sounds scary, if it’s frightening to let go of the old and ask for the new, let me repeat to you the words that came to me all those years ago, words that I now see are from an Unseen God who sees everything and can do anything, even wipe away fearfulness if we just ask:

Do not be afraid.
Do not be afraid.
Do not be afraid


Author: Bianca Simone Mannie

How To Get Rid of Insecurity, Doubt and Comparison

How To Get Rid of Insecurity, Doubt and Comparison

I am not sure if you have ever been in a situation where you are nervous about something. It could be preparing to talk in front of a large group of people (like a Oral at school, or presentation at varsity or work etc.) or just one person for that matter. Or in my case singing in front of a lot of people, and you turn to your friend and say, “oh my gosh I am so nervous” and they say to you, “you will be fine JUST BE YOURSELF “. Now that is  a lot easier said than done as I am sure you know, especially when you do not know who you are. As I have grown up I have not always been confident, outgoing and a just-say-whats-on-my-mind type of girl. In fact, I would not say that I am that woman now either. Although there have been some major things that have helped me become more confident and outgoing, I have learnt to stand up for myself in many areas. I would love to share some of those things with you that have helped me to step into being ME not you, or the girl/guy down the street who just seems to get everything they want. If learning to be YOU is all you learn this year then I can guarantee that you will be stepping into a future that is so free and liberating. Let me start off by saying that we are all on a journey and no one arrives and gets to a place where they have it all, so this is not a race to try get to the finish line as soon as you can. There have been 3 things in my life that have helped me on this journey.

I realized that I cannot do this life on my own. Years of striving and trying to be someone I am not left me feeling alone and desperate to believe in something bigger. We are not meant to live this life on our own, having people around you that support you and accept you will make it easier to be yourself.

As soon as you realize that comparing yourself to somebody else is pointless and takes you down a road only to destroy you, the better your life will become. Nobodies life is perfect even that person you wish your life could be like. Their life is not perfect. There is that saying that goes: “the grass is greener where you water it!”. I fully agree with that. I had to stop looking to others for affirmation. People are not perfect and they are unpredictable so therefore they will let you down, so if we look to people to make us feel better or constantly look at others lives wishing we somehow had what they did, it only leaves us feeling alone, sad and always seeking love from the wrong place. As Pastor Brian Houston says: “Comparison is a deadly game you cannot win. You’ll always come second. There will always be someone better looking, smarter, more spiritual or seem to get more breaks”. Start living YOUR life the best you know how. YOU be the best friend you can be instead of trying to see who is friends with you. YOU be kind, generous and genuine instead of wondering why others are not doing that. YOU be YOU because only you can live the life you were born to do.

Your own mind can sometimes be your worst enemy. Most of the things we think in our mind are not even true mostly because they are not positive thoughts. Anything that is in our thoughts that are pulling us down or is making us feel insecure are not true.

You may be on a similar journey and are asking yourself questions about God, faith and how he can be the answer to finding the REAL YOU. If you’d like to know more, please click on the banner below and watch the video that follows.



Author: Tami Kolbe
Twitter: taylored_blog
Instagram: taylored_blog


How to step out of your comfort zone

Do you ever feel like something is holding you back from reaching your full potential?
You might have a dream or an ambition that you can’t quite get to because of either circumstance or limitation? Or you just don’t know where or how to start? Feeling overwhelmed?

Well firstly, the only thing holding you back from that goal, dream, ambition is – you!
The minute you step out of your comfort zone and take a leap of faith, that first baby step towards your goal or dream everything changes and you allow God to work miracles in your life.

By putting our trust in God we are saying: “God here is my circumstance or limitation and I surrender it all to You. I will do what I can and I will take that leap of faith boldly and trust You with everything so that You can do what I cannot!”

Over the last few months, this has personally been a revelation in my life. Stepping out of my comfort zone and moving forward in steps of faith and trust. You will be amazed at the doors of opportunity that open wide when we let go of the reins and let God take over.

Did you know that with God all things are possible? Matthew 19:26
The Bible tells us all kinds of awesome stories how God performed miracles in the lives of so many. What did all those people have in common? They had the faith to believe that with God all things are possible. They opened their hearts and He changed their lives! How cool is that?!

I am not saying it’s going to be easy but wow it’s definitely going to be worth it!

Why not start today? Invite Jesus Christ into your heart and life and watch how your circumstances change from mountains to molehills. Let go and let God. Take that first bold step into your future.

If you’d like to know what next steps to take, please click on the banner below.

Author: Claudia De Nobrega
Twitter: @ClaudsDeNobrega
Instagram: @claudiadenobrega


Intimacy – Man’s Greatest Need

Intimacy is our greatest desire and yet our greatest fear. Intimacy is at the heart of all healthy and fulfilling relationships; knowing that we are fully known, yet fully loved, but to experience it, we must open up our world and allow people to know us; to know our strengths, our weaknesses, our insecurities and our fears.

So despite this deep longing, we hide, because we are afraid. We are afraid that once people fully know us they will discover that maybe we are not as amazing as they think we are, not as courageous as we seem and that we too have fears and insecurities. We are afraid that people will define us by our weaknesses and that instead of covering and protecting us, they will use our fears against us. We are afraid that people’s perception of us will change and that they will withdraw their affection towards us. At the root of our fear is the possibility that we will be rejected and discover that maybe we are just not good enough for love.


So we strive to gain everyone’s respect and admiration but we deny ourselves the opportunity to experience the freedom of unconditional acceptance.


We surround ourselves with people we call friends but we still feel alone, unloved and unwanted because people cannot fully love what they do not fully know.

We mask our fear by pretending that we are happier alone and pretending to be satisfied with shallow, detached relationships. We feel safe, but most importantly, we feel in control. No one can hurt or reject us or make us feel like we are not good enough. We convince ourselves that we are satisfied and that this life is enough for us, but denying our need does not quench our desire for true love and intimacy. We were all created with this longing that we cannot substitute with casual sex, substance abuse or binge eating.

To be fully known is at the heart of intimacy and to be fully known, we must overcome our fear of not being good enough. We discover that we do not need to be perfect in order to be loved. We discover something special – something that was reflected in God’s display of love – ‘that even while we were still sinners, he loved us so much that He sent his Son to die and reconcile us back to Him.’ This very love that he put on display is the love that he exemplified for us to imitate and express towards each other. It’s this love that we find at the heart of intimacy; to be fully known in our imperfections yet fully loved and finding wholeness in our embrace of that love. If you would like the opportunity to experience this kind of love, I encourage to you to click the pop-up banner or the one below, so we can help you do just that.


Author: Romayne Javanywe
Instagram: romaynejay

We all need to know, “we are not alone!”

We all need to know, “we are not alone!”

My weekday mornings look the same: I push snooze, I push snooze again. I get out of bed, way too late and I make coffee. I try make my hair look less like a mop dipped in oil (try being the operative word here), I drink some coffee and I pack my bag. I eat half a piece of toast and I stumble out the door, my keys in my mouth, 3 bags on my arms and one hand waving a mascara. All is good.

That is, unless I’ve left my phone at home. That’s not good. My world crumbles. Whaaaat? No! I can’t Facebook in my breaks, I can’t send my friends cheeky Whatsapp messages and I can’t post my Instagram pictures from last night. My emotions declare emergency, I contemplate should I drive home to fetch it?

All this drama got me thinking, why am I so attached to my phone? Why, beside the inconvenience does this make me feel disjointed? I think back on how I sat in my chair at work staring at my blank computer screen thinking about the dismal prospect of a day without my phone and I realise without it I feel more alone.

When I was a teenager my biggest fear was that I would go to our Senior dance without a partner. I would spend hours awake at night mulling over how impossible it would ever be to recover from the inevitable social suicide that this would cause. I wondered, who would ask me and what would I do if nobody asked me?! I could not see life past that one event.

As for most people high school wasn’t easy for me. I was the very shy, sort of smart kid without a stitch of street cred. In my government school this put me somewhere between invisible and teacher’s pet, not prime real estate. I spent class time worried that nobody would sit next to me at break time and free time half-heartedly trying to be something I wasn’t so I felt part of a group. It was sad and looking back I can see it made no sense.

When I was at university I carried this fear of being alone with me

I was worried about sitting in lecture halls by myself. I graduated and started working and brought the same fear with me, I was worried that nobody would want to do things with me on the weekend and I would spend them in my house watching series reruns.

All humans are genetically designed to gain satisfaction from meaningful relationships with real people. There are mental and physical benefits to real human interaction and nobody, no matter how introverted or extroverted, can make it without connecting with others. Yes, we may need some alone time after a weekend away with the family, but not for too long. We all want someone to share in our boring every day moments and support us in the tough times. These days the phone in your pocket can provide the gratifying comfort of having a way to be heard and reach out to people.

As I’ve gained more life experience, it’s become important to me to believe in a God who hears me and to surround myself with people who like me for me. Do I still struggle with feeling alone? Yes. But, knowing that the creator of the universe believes in little me, means I’m not as scared of it as I used to be. When I lie awake at night and torture myself with all sorts of scary scenes in my head I now stop myself. “No,” I silently say. “You are not alone, even if it looks like it. You have a God who cares.”

Let me tell you, when you leave your phone at home and feel yourself freak out, it’s not the end of the world. When you sit by yourself at a coffee shop, it’s ok. Even if you don’t go out with a huge group of people on a Saturday night, it doesn’t mean your friends have disappeared. You’re a one in a billion and you’re going to be fine.

Click on the popup message or banner below to watch a video on how you can learn more about a God who promises you are not alone.

Social Media Is Swallowing My Creativity!

I’m not the type of person who keeps schedules. I’m more of a “winger woman” (let it be known that this phrase was coined right here), that is, someone – specifically female – who takes the day or whatever circumstances as they come. I know what I’m supposed to do in the day; sometimes I do it all and other times, I don’t. I don’t let the things that I can’t do bother me; I just say “I’ll do them tomorrow,” and that’s that. You must know that this behavior is quite the opposite of my beloved father’s – so much organization (!!!) and I can’t help but continuously wonder if this specific character trait is the reason why the levels of our productivity differ so much.

With that being said, other than all the regular human rituals (bathing, brushing teeth etc.) that I do on the daily, there is one other thing that I do without fail. Can you guess? Yes? No? … Um, okay, you can’t so I’ll just tell you…

I do social media. Yes, I D-O it. Surfing the social turf is something that now comes so naturally to me that you would never say that I was the same girl that literally read through EVERY SINGLE LESSON at school and through her whole school library. Granted, it was a small school’s library, but it was a library nonetheless.

drown creativity 2

Now, you can sit there and judge me. Go ahead. You may have a right to or you may be just as guilty as me. Unfortunately for me (and a whole lot of you), it is not my job to be a virtual socializer for no reason. It is my job, however, to be a creative.

Since social media, I’ve found that I have to work harder for my creativity. Every time I enter the virtual world I am confronted by a host of ideas or by people ten times better than me (where my craft or sneakers are concerned). I am bombarded by so many thoughts and messages and trends, a lot of which are totally irrelevant to my life. But because I’ve developed FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), I’ve made a place for all of this clutter and fanatical groupthink.

I was reading “The Art Of Creative Thinking” by John Adair recently, and I was reminded of the need to not only practice serendipity but to also see things in a different light. This made a lot of sense to me because I know that the virtue of the creative is their ability to perceive and interpret the little things, the most mundane tasks, or the craziest life events in a way that no one else has. Lao Tzu said, “To perceive things in the germ is intelligence.” Marcel Proust said that the real magic of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.

Sometimes, I’ve been made so full by social media that I am unable to find my voice in creativity. My thoughts are dominated by what I see people doing, what I see they have or how much “further along in their career they seem than me” and there is seemingly no value in the day-to-day happenings of my life. This is when I know that I have had enough. Although there is nothing new under the sun, it goes a long way when I make a practice of serendipity, proper thought (instead of being told what to think by social culture, or Solange or my friend Betty), and appreciation.

drown creativity 3

I’m learning that when I meditate on what I’ve got, then I find out that I have quite a lot. That “lot” is not only restricted to my possessions, it also includes the wealth of creativity and new ideas that were placed inside of me by my Maker (whom I believe to be Jesus).

I was partaking in Conversation on Creativity last week and an entrepreneur touched on the fact that there are so many designers doing the same thing. They all have a white t-shirt, a grey t-shirt and a black t-shirt, and I laughed to myself and wondered if this was not the result of some people failing to allow themselves to think differently than what they were seeing all of the other designers with labels doing.

This may be a long stretch, but I somehow feel that taking a moment to reflect, “see things with new eyes,” and seeking the creativity to utilize what we have instead of longing for what others have may just be what Africa’s young creative need. Man, it’s probably what Africa needs.

There is so much more to be said, but let me leave you with this thought (I am saying all of these things back to myself daily): If you’re going to stretch something, why not stretch your brain. Practice self-awareness instead of social media awareness (social media is not the devil, but too much of a good thing is bad). Start by going outside and aiming to see the world with new eyes.

Add those things to your schedule. I’ve added them to mine.


Author: Eden Myrrh
Twitter: @eden_myrrh
Instagram: eden_myrrh

How to Climb the Ladder

Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending.
– Saint Augustine

What is your first reaction when you read this? Can I tell you mine? I thought, no way! The only way to get ahead is to push past everyone else and make sure you get to the top faster than anyone else. Right? Wrong.

I guess the world we live in will tell us how amazing we are, how much we deserve to be successful and we can be or do anything we want to do. I totally agree with that but I think we can see that left to our own devices, these words puff us up to forge ahead at any cost to us or to those around this. So the purpose of my blog is to spin a different way of looking at this…

What if the way up is actually down? What if like some lyrics I recently heard, “we touch the sky when our knees hit the ground.” What I think Saint Augustine was trying to say was where you are going isn’t as important as who is going with you. I believe we need the people around us and if they succeed then so do we. A great teacher once said, “Those of you who want to be great, must become a servant.” So what does going up by going down look like in our everyday lives?

  1. In a conflict, be the bigger person, and take the high road. Let people know how they have hurt you or upset you but at the end of the day, we can’t change people. We are not responsible for how others act, but only how we act. So when that driver hoots at you and waves all sorts of fingers at you, just smile to yourself and be reminded that you can only control your own actions, so make sure they count to make the world a better place.
  2. Live your life with confidence and humility. These may seem opposite but they are actually beautifully complimentary. Confidence enables you to do what you need to do and humility helps you to do it well. Be confident, not arrogant. That’s what will draw people into your corner.
  3. Know you are worth it! You have something to offer that only you can bring to your family, your school or your workplace. You are not on the planet by accident (no matter how you came into this world) and you have a role to play.

climb the ladder 2

Just imagine what the world would be like if we all went up by going down, if we really could touch the sky by our knees hitting the ground.

So when you face challenges this next week remember:

  1. You are amazing and so are the people who happen to be in your world.
  2. You deserve to be successful and so do the people you are studying with or working with. What if you helped each other and became successful together?
  3. You can be and do anything you want so why not be the person you wish others would be and why don’t you do the things you wish others would do to make this life better.
  4. Let’s rise and be the generation that does things differently. Let’s rise and see who we can take on the journey. Let’s rise and begin with descending.

If you’d like to know more about how it’s possible to go up by going down and living life differently, please click on the pop up banner or the one below. We’d love to tell you more.


Author:  Wendy Grages
Twitter: @wendygrages
Instagram: @wendygrages

Is There Power In Poverty?


Is There Power In Poverty?

Money is good.

It’s surprising how many people would believe this is heresy. There is no world where lack is desirable or should be held as a standard. But reality is not as kind as this ideal. As young Africans, we don’t have to go far to experience poverty. Sometimes all we need to do is wake up.

In the last year I have experienced what it is like to wonder how I am going to get through the day. I have turned friends down because I could not afford the petrol to get to them – let alone the bill after the meal. I have seen other friends work three jobs to barely survive; even though they graduated from University with me.

And where does God fit into this? “He owns the cattle on a thousand hills.” “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.” Many scriptures about God’s provision and blessing could be quoted, but what if there is no direct evidence in your life today?

Looking back, I have realised that God understands the power of need.

Without need there is no motivation. Most, if not all, of our decisions have been provoked by the presence of need. If we had all we wanted we would not stretch ourselves to improve. The best ideas would be six feet down in wooden coffins and we would probably still be living in the Stone Age.


Without need there would be no gratitude.


Appreciating what you have is an important part of life. If we did not need anything, whatever we did have would not be taken care of. A clear example of this is the streets of Vegas. In a city where money is king and excess is the goal, you will find loads of untouched food on the streets – thrown out just because it wasn’t the desirable option that night. If any of those meals had been placed on the table in our city, however, it would probably feed a family for a few days. Need teaches us to value what we have.

Without need, we also have no purpose. Whatever we have only becomes valuable once someone else needs it. Despite your monetary lack, there are always areas in your life where you hold the monopoly. Whether its your opinion, your physical ability or your skills, when you share from that wealth, your contribution is valued.

Without need you would be alone. There is no shame in need. Or there shouldn’t be. If we did not have need, we would have no reason to connect. We would be aimless ships floating past and into each other.


Many times success begins with desperation and destitution.


From Sean Connery and Ralph Lauren to the creator of Whatsapp, there are countless stories of people who have triumphed out of dire circumstances. The truth is, need can teach me so much about life – about people, true fulfilment, joy, hope and friendship. My education did not end when I was handed a piece of paper with numbers on it. In many ways, my study loans will teach me more than my studies ever did.

Today I received my first pay-check for a job that is a perfect fit for me. I can tell you that I would not have chosen it for myself, but God used my need to direct me into the best opportunity I have ever had. I am grateful that I had to live through lack, because it made me more aware of what was important in life and drove me towards the only one that has never needed anything… ever.

God doesn’t need us. He wants us. And the power of being wanted when you face great need can carry you further than any amount of money ever could. If you’d like to know more about how you can find hope and strength through your lack and need, click on the banner below.


dave webster2

Author: David Webster
Twitter: @davidjwebster
Instagram: @davidjwebster

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