Fran Thring, Author at 1Africa

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January 8, 2016

Yup, that independent lady- it’s trending. Blame Beyonce or Kelly Clarkson or the state of the world- whatever. Independent girls are all the rage. Times have changed and no longer do you “need a man” in your life to make all your decisions, you can make decisions for yourself. You can own your own apartment, you can pay your own bills, you can be CEO of whatever global business you chose and ain’t nobody gonna shut you down for it. Independent ladies are the new way of the future and there’s no going back.

However, let’s not move forward to move back. If we are going to embrace our new independence, then we need to do it well. Miss Independent is smart and wise. She knows how to look after herself and what she wants from life. She can also be vulnerable and knows when to ask for help. Ladies, this is how you do independence the right way!

Don’t compare. Hey pretty girl- you got what you got. No you may not have hair like Rapunzel or no, you may not look like a cosmo cover girl. You might have to spend hours getting your frizz out or you might have more cellulite than you would want. Everyone, everyone has something going for them. Don’t weigh yourself against anyone else. You are you- work it.

Believe in yourself. You are more than just your looks. You are a beautiful package of emotions, brains and passions. Don’t narrow yourself down to just your looks. Firstly great guys aren’t more interested in Barbie dolls, and secondly if you can’t believe in yourself then you can’t expect everyone to do that work for you.

Stand up for yourself. If you want to be an independent lady then you are going to need to fight when it is time to fight. Nobody is going to have your back when people say unkind things, so you need to be assertive and let people know when they have hurt you. Your feelings matter and standing up for yourself will teach you to stand up for others and for your family.

Manage your finances. Girl, you can’t even spell the word independence if you are living off Daddy’s trust fund. If you want to be independent you are going to need to learn to spend your money wisely and make your own. This means you can’t have every designer handbag you want. You can’t get your nails, hair and body done every week and then spend the weekend drinking expensive cocktails. Independent women know when to say no and how to budget wisely.

Follow your passions. Don’t do a job because everyone is telling you to. Rather, get to know yourself and your passions. What are you good at, what do you get excited about doing everyday? Invest time and effort into your passion and it will turn into a lucrative career if you manage it well. It’s worth the work and worth the wait.

Find a role model. Who inspires you? Is it Beyonce or is it Oprah? Is it Hilary Clinton. We all have different dreams and desires and a different person will be more likely to strike our interest. Find someone who has the same values as you and who makes you feel like you can do it, because really, you can.

Get yourself a super close home girl. Your friends are your life as an independent lady. Make sure you get a supportive, fun and classy group of girl friends to go out and have a blast with. You’ll be needing a best friend to get you through the tough and the good times.

Invest in heath insurance. Time to be practical. You need health insurance and you need car insurance (if you have a car). If something happens, then you are going to need to know that the bills will be paid and you don’t have to pitch up at your friend’s house asking for a loan.

Create your own sense of style. Look at what’s out there and decide what you like and what you don’t. Investing into your style is important for an independent girl. You want to look and feel good about yourself. It doesn’t cost millions to go to the shops and get a decent outfit or a good hair cut.

Own your own beliefs on religious and political matters. Sweetheart, at the end of the day, you are going face God. Your parent’s religion and beliefs won’t be good enough to cut it. Read some books, speak to some friends and discover what you think. We don’t get into heaven on someone else’s faith- its our choice and our choice alone at the end.

Don’t be afraid of getting older

Hope

Fran Thring

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January 6, 2016

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Every year I get older. So do you. Let that sink in for a moment. The passing of time and your susceptibility to it is inevitable. One day you will end up old, and each year you will end up older. Across history as human kind we have tried to stop aging- to find some magic potion which prevents you from getting older, something which keeps us forever young.

In western culture we revere youth. People, women especially, fear growing older. Women spend 1000’s on anti-wrinkle medicine, botox, hair dye, tummy tucks, nose jobs, personal trainers all to prevent the inevitable. We hold the young up on pedestals and miss the beauty which can be found in age. Personally I think our culture needs a wake up call. I think that perhaps we need to look at our view points on age and see them for what they are- a jaded and superficial look at the world and at beauty.

Perhaps we need to redefine our definition of beauty? Isn’t it time to see beauty for more than the smooth skin on an 18 year old? Isn’t it time that we don’t limit beauty to a select selector of society but instead see the beauty in all ages, races and people groups?

May Sarton: “do not deprive me of my age. I have earned it.” Isn’t it time that we start to honour those who have walked the path before us instead of looking at them and feeling pity? I can remember growing up with my Grandmother. She lived 4 hours away from us but she would call us every week and visit every Christmas and sometimes during the year. I have never met a feistier women in my life. People say that I got my tenacity and my love of shoes from that women.

Everytime we would visit Gran she would have a packet of biltong or a peppermint crisp on our beds at arrival. Her grandchildren were her pride and joy. Our smiling faces decorated the frames around her house and all her friends knew exactly what we were up to. Every night we stayed with her she would make us a roast dinner. And nobody cooked like Gran did- to this day I have not tasted potatoes which rival Gran’s crispy outer layer and mashed interior.

Come Sunday, Gran never missed church. She and her group of friends had been attending the local church for years upon years. She would always put on her Sunday best; she had multiple shades of pink lipstick strewn around the house and it was the highlight of her week. To this day, I believe her prayers, joyful attitude despite her challenges and generous heart have shaped who I am today. No matter how many wrinkles she had, she was truly a beautiful woman.

Susan Sarandon “I look forward to being older, when what you look like becomes less and less an issue and what you are is the point.” It’s time to stop dreading the passing of years and embrace the growth, change and development of wisdom that comes with age. With age comes a softening towards life, a patience, the ability to reflect and a greater appreciation of the things that really matter. Age rewards you with the satisfaction found in a life lived well if you embrace every day that you are given and see it as a gift.

Looking at countless magazines shouting out “tips to look younger,” I wish we would promote “how to be kind,” or “how to embrace your beauty no matter your age” or “the truth about hope.” My declaration, regardless of what Women’s Health or Cosmo may tell me, is that I am beautiful. And, as I age, I will remain beautiful. I will forgive quickly, follow God and live generously. And that, my dear and beautiful friend, is what makes you a true beauty. The older I get, the more beautiful I feel.

10 fashion staples: 2016

Fashion

Fran Thring

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January 1, 2016

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It’s nearly the new year and one of your new year’s point of action plans were to get yourself a hot new wardrobe. Maybe it’s time you looked fly for some dates, or maybe you want to show off your new six pack? Either way looking styling has never been so easy with this quick guide- when everyone compliments your superior fashion taste; smile and pretend it all came naturally. We won’t tell.

Right no excuses, we all know’s it’s just been Christmas and you are BROKE. We also know that all sneaky fashionistas, although they may smile nicely when you open up a package of beige petticoats from Aunty Beatrice again, is going to return everything with a label on it. Here’s my advice, ask for vouchers, if you want to buy for yourself wait for the sales and keep items that don’t fit and exchange them. It’s time to get your post-Christmas shopping on…

10 items you can’t go wrong buying this year:

Nike sneakers- Nike has always been cool, but the recent trend towards “active wear” has launched them into a frigid territory. Pricy but worth it, your Nike sneakers have suddenly been promoted to work wear. People are wearing their Nikes with business skirts during the week, jeans on the weekend and their running tights in-between. Find a pair- just do it.
Converse white- If you can’t get Nikes, get Converse. But only the white pair, mind. I don’t know how Converse white got its elite status but nonetheless, if you want to look cool, they are all the rage and more. Pair them with your favourite pair of jeans or cut off denim -you’ll fit into this season’s fashion mix like olive in a martini. Ahhh yeah…
Ripped jeans- if it looks like you met a tiger before you met your friends, then buddy, you’ve done well. Cut your jeans at the knees or buy them ripped to pieces, this season is getting ragged- learn to like it.
Jumpsuits (this one’s for the girls)- jumpsuits used to belong on the body of Beyonce and Rihanna but recently they have made their stylish way into the wardrobe of cute girls, like you and me. Your boyfriend will go nuts when you wear this to the beach. They add at least 3 extra hot points and if you sing an R&B song someone may come up to you thinking you are famous.
Long Ts (this one’s for the boys)- now look, we know it’s risky, but brother we think you can pull it off. Boy’s T-shirts are hitting mid shin status and they aren’t shy. Wear them with your ripped jeans and pop the corner in your pocket- just incase anyone does think you are actually wearing a dress because we wouldn’t want that.
Denim jackets– denim is in full stop. We couldn’t give you a fashion guide without throwing the classic denim jacket into the mix. Lurking around from chambray era and embracing 90’s charm, this season’s denim jackets are all about worn and washed. Go digging in your mom’s throw out stash or hit your local thrift store- older is better and denim just doesn’t wear out.
Retro shades- if you thought people didn’t judge you for your sunglasses you would be entirely wrong. The right pair of shades can make or break a style status. This season’s hot accessories are bigger is better cat eyes. Or, if these don’t grab your fancy, go for a sci-fi tint- people may think you are from another planet or they may think you are really really cool.

Remember no matter what you chose to wear, the biggest crowd pleaser will always be rocking some self-confidence. Embrace your own unique style, or pick up a style from fashion trends, but at the end of the day, know that you are cool no matter what. God made you and he made you awesome.

Fit and festive: keeping healthy over Christmas

Health

Fran Thring

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December 25, 2015

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Fit and festive: keeping healthy over Christmas

EVERYONE goes to sleep after Christmas lunch. There is not a lot better than taking a break from all the presents, gorging and preparation by taking it easy and slipping into nap land. I like it, at any rate. Christmas is notorious for the amount of excess food you intake and the lack of exercise and routine.

Each year at Christmas my usually healthy family’s cupboards morph into a treasure trove of quality street, nuts and sugary treats. It’s bad. Gone are the rice cakes and hummus and carrots. Welcomed are the hazelnut truffles and full cream custard. Yes, that’s right- the kind that takes 20 minutes of sweat on the treadmill to work off. Plus, who ever eats one? Plus, someone will probably give you a bikini for Christmas and there will be lots of pool parties post Christmas where the last thing you will want to do is show off your bulges. Last Christmas I was given the biggest Lindt chocolate I had ever seen. I swear I have probably only worked it off by now. Depressing, right?

Festive time is tough on your diet- if Aunty Beatrice has cookies at tea time and brunch, you suddenly want them too. Now that everyone has drinks after dinner and desert; you find yourself joining the eating festivities. Yip, it’s safe to say that Christmas is a stay fit and fine nightmare. Sigh, how best to get around it? Here are some fight the Christmas bulge suggestions:

Make Christmas treats treats

Even the most delicious treat stops tasting like a treat after the 7th helping. Enjoy your treats but don’t over do it.

Stock the freezer with healthy meals

You probably won’t have much time to cook, so it will be really helpful if you can whip out something healthy from the freezer in 10 minutes instead of over indulging on sugar peanuts.

Pour gravy and sauces lightly

You really don’t need 3 litres of gravy on your turkey or to cover your potatoes in cheese sauce like its a blanket. Sauce is one of those sneaky calorie land mines which everyone ignores. Keep your meals simple and light by using sauce in moderation.

Start a project

We eat more when we are bored or socialising. Take a break from all the family gathering and start putting together that album you always planned on doing, or spring cleaning your room. The project will make you less likely to get bored and over indulge. It will also give you a break from the family showdowns every now and again.

Invite everyone on a walk

If you want to have catch up convos, why not have them over a walk around the park or trip to the mall? Who says all conversations have to be around the dining room table? Keeping active will make everyone happier, healthier and less likely to argue.

Skip a meal

Ahhhh, yes I said that. Trust me, you are not going to starve to death or slow down your metabolism by skipping a meal. If you are full, you should not be eating more. Fasting is good for the body and you will appreciate your meal far more if you are actually hungry for it.

Stay hydrated

All those sugary drinks and all that talking can make anyone dehydrated. When you are dehydrated you often think that you are hungry- not so! Take your bottle of water with you homegirl or guy and take a sip regularly. Water trumps coca-cola and champers for thirst every time.

Remember looking after your body is a wise and Godly principle. You only have one chance at life on earth so be smart about it. You can say no and you can keep healthy over Christmas. Embrace the challenge, not the bulge. Let’s whip out that new bikini with confidence.

Creating Christmas memories

Practical Faith

Fran Thring

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December 23, 2015

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Remember when? Candy threw the cat at James, missed him and knocked down the Christmas tree? Remember when Grandma fell asleep in the middle of the movie and started snoring and then woke herself up. Remember when Mom made a turkey and the dog got to it before we did?

Christmas time can be full of memories, if you let it. The people, food, celebrations all contribute to what many people remember from years to come. More often than not, if you look over your year, the best times you have had have been at Christmas. However, a few years can go by and we all get a little lazy at times about putting in the effort, valuing those that matter and being intentional about creating memories. If you let it, Christmas will drift past you and you will not even recall what you did, which is a waste of all that festive possibility if you are asking me. Don’t be that person that gets apathetic about Christmas time. Rather, embrace the spirit of Christmas and make some memories with your friends or family. Good times don’t come without a decent dose of effort, so take a moment gather your inner Christmas spirit, and dive in…

Brainstorm some ideas– get your creative juices flowing. Maybe last year you made snow angels with your baby cousins, maybe the year before that you made home made crackers- think of some new ways to keep Christmas festive and fun. Look online, there are loads of websites which show great Christmas crafty ideas or games. Pick a few and in no time you’ll have more to do than you could have wished. If all else fails you can whip out the board games or have a sing along.
Make the time– great memories don’t happen when you are sitting at the office starting blank eyed at your computer screen. Close your laptop and take some well earned Christmas leave. This time of year is about spending quality time with those that matter. It can be a chance to wind down, loosen up and prepare yourself for the year to come.
Get organized. Great memories require organization to happen. You are going to need to delegate, communicate, go to the store and think through all your plans. Make use of a fun new app you have found on your phone and make sure everyone knows what they are supposed to be doing. People like to get involved and help out so don’t be afraid to rope someone else in if you are feeling overwhelmed.
Record it. This is the day and age for social media and digitising everything. Take pics of the festivities or record a video. Not only is this a great way to share your fun times with a friend but it also provides you with a keep sake that you can look back on years later to remind you of the good times. I always regret not taking enough photos. You can even make it a certain family member’s task- just make sure that they get a chance to feature in some of the shots too or else everyone will think that they were absent.
Do something to help someone. Maybe you know of an old age home where you can visit for a morning or maybe you have some old things that you would like to give away. There are multiple avenues for sharing the goodwill of Christmas available if you take a look. Doing something to help others all helps people to bond, and it is the best way to create a memory which you will not forget.

Ultimately, Christmas is about putting value on people because God put value on us. He sent his only son to save us, even though we are messed up, rebelious and full of sin. He gave us the greatest gift of all and because of this, we give gifts, our time and celebrate our freedom. Don’t let Christmas pass you by while you sit on the couch and watch elf reruns. Instead, be intentional about creating memories and celebrating those that matter to you. Just try not let the dogs eat the turkey this time!

A non stressful Christmas?

Jesus

Fran Thring

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December 18, 2015

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Can I be real for a second? Christmas, despite being “the most wonderful time of the year”, can be stressful. Don’t get me wrong, I love it- it’s full of end of the year celebrations and you get to spend time with all those near and dear, close your laptop and get out the board games. You get to eat lots, you have a legitimate reason for shopping, you can shower those you care for with gifts and appreciation. It’s just that- all the expectations, the drama and the pressure can be, well, exhausting.

I live next to the mall and there is no parking. Also, suddenly all my friends are having parties, there are mountains of deadlines at work and countless presents to buy or make or order (at this rate it will be order). Then, there’s actual Christmas day: what are you doing, who are you doing it with, who is cooking, which church service will keep everyone happy, how do you keep everyone happy, can you keep everyone happy, will Uncle Henry get too drunk, will people notice if I hide in a corner with a bottle of champagne…see what I mean? It’s fun, but…

Maybe you understand?

Don’t worry, I’m not rude. I won’t hide in the corner. I like the festivities, but a big part of me wants this year’s Christmas to be less about festivities and activities and more about reflection.

What if this year the Christmas season was a time to take our relationship with God deeper? What if this time of year was a season of renewal and not stress?

1000’s of years ago a baby was born who came to be known as the saviour of the world. This baby grew into a man; a man who changed history and proposed a change to life as we knew it. This man, Jesus Christ, challenged the world, he said: “come follow me, let’s do life differently”. Follow me and everything will change. Follow me and your life will be a life of peace, purpose and meaning.

He said, my life is a gift to you.

He said follow me and I will never leave you.

He said follow me and I will give you hope.

He said follow me and I will give you strength.

He said follow me and I will teach you patience.

He said follow me and I will wrap you in a love greater than any human can conceive.

He said follow me and I will teach you wisdom.

He said follow me and I will fill you.

He said follow me and you will never be alone.

He said follow me and I will make you a home in heaven, so when your journey is done you can rest with me.

He said follow me and I will include you in my plan for redemption.

He said, all these gifts I have for you, but you have to choose to follow me.

8 years ago I made the choice to follow Jesus. I had always known he was God, yet like many people, I had to come to a place where I surrendered my life. Jesus captivated me then, and still he captivates me now.

He is always drawing us near. He isn’t impressed by big festivities and tables laden with turkey, cheap crackers and party hats. He wants your heart and he wants a relationship with you. This year I want to take a step back from everything going on and spend time with him. I want to thank him for the good things that have happened and ask him for wisdom to change the things that need change. I want to soak in his love so I don’t go into life looking for love in all the wrong places. I want to wait on his peace so I can approach life from a place of joy and stability, not fear and discontentment. Maybe you do too?

Isaiah 9:6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Is your relationship over?

Fran Thring

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December 16, 2015

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Relationships are amazing, but they are hard. Making decisions when two hearts are thrown into the mix is tough. More often than not, there is someone who walks out on the other side feeling used or let down. When things begin to crumble it’s difficult to know whether to keep at it or walk away.

One of the most important things about relationships are regularly assessing where they are at. It’s not a good long term decision to drift along because you’re scared of being alone, or too lazy to find something new. Not assessing relationships lead to mediocrity and nobody wants a mediocre relationship. I sure as heck don’t.

Say you have been in a relationship for a while and something at the back of your mind says “honey, it’s time to end it”, here are indicators that it may be over.

1. Either or both of you doesn’t want to work on it- if you care about a person and about a relationship then you want to try and work through the problems. If you don’t feel that way, chances are your relationship is not adding value and it’s no longer worth the effort.

2. Communication is one-sided– this should always be a two-way street. If the one person is always initiating a conversation that’s not fair. If you like someone you want to communicate with them, so if it’s one sided its a sign.

3. Are you spending more time apart than together? A relationship is about a partnership. If either of you is behaving like single people, always out with friends or always at work then something is wrong. Especially if you don’t mind.

4. Are you fighting all the time? Couples fight. Friends fight, but there is a fine line between fighting all the time and some healthy conflict. If you are at each other’s throats all the time something needs to change or end.

5. If you ask yourself “is this the person I want to be with in the future?”, and the answer is I don’t know or I don’t think so. Then some serious reflecting time is needed. Get out your pro and con list and think things through.

6. Either or both of you has stopped talking about your relationship and the future. If you have been dating someone for a while then it’s natural to talk about your future. If either of you is mute on this topic or being vague its cause for concern.

7. Body language- someone who is into you will show you this in their body language. Do they want to hold your hand? Are they initiating affection? Do they smile at you?

8. You start to find other people attractive and want to flirt with them. Yes, there are always attractive people out there but when you are happy in your relationship it is less of an attraction then when things are bad.

9. Your friends and family aren’t supportive. When you are in a relationship you can’t always see the unhealthy signs. If your friends and family think things should end, then take the time to listen to what they have to say.

10. Trust your gut. Just do it, at the end of the day, this is your life and your future. You need to pay attention to what you are feeling and why.

You need and deserve to be in a relationship where you feel special, appreciated, loved and most importantly, valued. Don’t wait for the words that it is over, rather be decisive about the state of things and go for the best.

If a relationship is not good, it’s better to be out than in. Seek the advice and counsel of people you respect. Make sure you have a good support network with kind friends who can take you through the horrible post break up process. Remember that you can always pray to God for guidance, wisdom and strength.

Don’t Settle: The Girls and Guys You DON’T Want to Date!

Relationships

Fran Thring

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December 11, 2015

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Don’t Settle: The Girls and Guys You DON’T Want to Date!

Boy meets girl. She thinks he’s cute. He thinks she’s cuter. They get drinks. The affection grows. Soon, life as they knew it is history – they are in love. If only it was that simple. This story-line leaves out the drunken fights, the does he like me conversations, the nasty names, and the hurt. No-one spoke to us about a process. No-one said we would have to think about it, be smart or be wise so that it all works out.

Back here in reality far away from Ryan Reynolds, Dear John, the Notebook or Moulin Rouge- all you need isn’t love. You need common sense, wisdom and a smart approach to your dating life so that your story has a happy ending.

Many times we settle for less than we deserve. We settle for someone who doesn’t respect us. We settle for someone who makes us feel worse not better about ourselves. We get all caught up in the emotions without listening to a wise voice which says – this isn’t the best for you. Many times if we are smart enough to catch the warning signs in the beginning then we won’t end up with broken hearts and hard learnings.

Girls and guys of the world – don’t settle. Don’t compromise your value or your future. Head the warnings.

Girls, here are some gents you do not want to date:

I still live with my Mom and I’m over 30.  You want someone independent and responsible. We understand tough situations happen to everyone but see this as a warning sign.
I expect you to pick up after me.  If you want a housekeeper, hire one. Girls, this is not part of your portfolio, everything in a relationship should be shared.
I can’t control my temper.  Major warning sign. He could become physical and you have to think about your future kids and safety.
I put pressure on you physically to do things you don’t want to do.  You do not have to do anything to keep or please a man. Be reasonable and communicate about things but don’t compromise your boundaries.
I don’t have, or aren’t looking for a job.  You do not want to be someone’s sugar Mama! If the boy doesn’t have drive or a job, be careful, this may not be someone you want to invest into.
I’m jealous and controlling.  If you feel like you are walking on egg shells for fear of your man’s response, think again. Your relationship should be based on trust not fear.
I watch sports games or play video games all day.  Anyone can relax, but at no time should this become a priority over your relationship or a healthy and active lifestyle.

Guys, here are some girls you don’t want to date:

I flirt with everyone.  This girl is after attention, not after you. Any girl who is using her body or flirting to gain attention from lots of men is a danger mine. Sooner or later she’ll move on, leaving you in the dust.
I’m a gold digger.  Come on, nobody wants to date someone who likes their bank balance more than them. Relationships are give and take, not give and give.
I’m insecure and clingy.  You can’t go out with your friends, you can’t look at her friend or she freaks out. See above – relationships are based on trust. You need a healthy amount of freedom.
I’m a bossy micromanager.  This girl is a control freak. She will tell you how to eat your chips and what to wear. Step away and let her figure out her issues because she can nag you to death.
I’m moody and I cry all the time.  Say a very loud NO to drama. Girls have moods but it is not fair if you feel like you live on a constant reality show, get out of there. You want someone stable and mature.
I’m obsessed with my appearance.  3 hours to get ready? Really? Everything has to be perfect. Always looking in a mirror? No thanks. Go for someone who is comfortable in their own skin – this obsession is just a loud insecurity bell.
I lack substance.  Do you really want someone who can’t have a conversation with you, doesn’t know themselves or has nothing to bring to the relationship? No, get out there and find someone who challenges you.

Be smart about who you date. People who have a strong and healthy knowledge of their own value and a God aligned sense of purpose for their life are always a better choice. I say it again, don’t settle! God made you a unique individual with value to offer, date someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated.

“How much are you willing to sell your integrity for?”

Practical Faith

Fran Thring

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December 9, 2015

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“How much are you willing to sell your integrity for?”

If there is one quality I look for in a person, this is it. If there is one thing that I believe can define your success, happiness and quality of life- this is it. And yet, we don’t talk about it enough. We don’t challenge each other on it, nearly enough. And, as a result, our lives have a lot less substance.

Integrity- being totally honest and truthful in every part of your life. Or to put it in less wikipedia-I-googled-a-definition terms: “do I mean what I say?” or “are my actions honest?” C S Lewis says: “Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.”

Whew, it’s a big one right? I’m sure we can all think of examples of where we’ve let it slip. You met someone and said: “let’s hang out, but you didn’t do anything about it. Or, you didn’t respond to someone’s message because you don’t feel like it. Or maybe, you do one thing at work while the boss is watching and another when they are gone for the day.

Maybe you don’t bring drinks to a party when the host asks you to contribute? Perhaps you talk about someone when you know that you shouldn’t. Or you don’t pitch up at something you RSVP’d to and pull out at the last moment. Integrity is in the little things and it usually filters through to the bigger things.

At the end of the year I like to do an “Integrity Report”. 2015 is coming to a close, Cape Town summer is bursting like a popcorn kernel, shops are playing cheesy jingle bell songs on repeat, you can’t buy a potato without standing in a queue for 30 minutes, everyone is throwing New Year’s invites at you as if they are wedding confetti and you gain 1 kg just by looking at the list of year-end gatherings you are required to attend. On top of all this you have a few days off. There’s time to sit in the heat or jump in a pool, or read a good book. There’s time to reflect, to pull out a journal and say to yourself – hey how did I do?

Everyone starts their year saying I’m going to get better at this or, I’ll do this, or I won’t do that. Then we don’t hold ourselves accountable to what we say and we don’t see the level of growth we desire. I don’t know what you think, but I think the end of the year is a good time to revisit your core values and evaluate. It’s so easy to say stuff and not do it. But, integrity and being mindful of how you are doing in this area is crucial – here’s why:

Integrity enhances all your other values.
Integrity is the foundation of character, and your character not your reputation, is what defines you as a person.
As you improve in integrity you invite better people into your life.
Dishonesty or a lack of integrity always has a nasty pay check.
Building integrity takes years but can be lost in an instance. It’s important to keep checking ourselves and reminding ourselves not to cut corners.
Success without integrity is an empty win.
Integrity is rated as the most important quality in a leader.

When my year draws to a close I ask myself these two questions:

How am I living with integrity?
How can I do better?

The questions make me sweat internally. They also make me realise a lot of the times I slip up where I could be better.

It’s difficult to have a life of integrity, which is why we need guidance and help. Jesus never lied, and His actions define integrity. He is the help we need to live a life of integrity. Once we come to Christ in faith and repentance, He gives us the gift of the Holy Spirit who assists us in developing our incorruptible integrity.

Can I encourage you, as your year rolls to an end and the chapter titled 2015 turns its last page, to think about your character. Think about your integrity and ask yourself the hard questions. We can all grow, improve our characters, and be a person remembered for all the right reasons.

10 Things We Overrate

Health

Fran Thring

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December 4, 2015

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I want to tell you a story about something overrated.

I have a friend called Jessie. Jessie loves sweet things, particularly croissants. She’s an expert on the topic: “you have to get chocolate ones at this store,” she’ll tell me, “because it’s actually real chocolate, not cocoa and icing sugar.” Or, you need to go to this shop at 6am because that’s when their croissants have just been made and they taste the best.

Many a Saturday morning, seated in a coffee shop with the buzz of hungry people and moving waitresses filling the atmosphere, we have sat for hours eating croissants. Jessie savours hers. I eat mine far too quickly, I must confess.

Jessie’s next love, not quite a croissant but rather like that top you wear with everything instead of the one you reserve for special occasions, are doughnuts. For Jessie a doughnut is like an apple. You’re allowed to eat one anytime of the day. Sometimes I visit her at work and find a bag of half a doughnut on her desk from breakfast.

The other day Jessie came up to me, her eyes alight: “I think life as we know it is over!” She said.
“Yeah? Really?” I was sceptical.
“There’s this new thing on the market, it’s called a cronut and it’s a doughnut mixed with a croissant.”

How someone managed to get this combination to work is beyond my cooking and scientific knowledge, but nonetheless as Jessie said, someone somewhere had created a cronut and it was the latest thing.

The next opportunity Jessie and I had free we headed to the cronut bakery. Anyone watching us would have thought Jessie was about to get a promotion or a free trip to Disney land. She was euphoric.

We sat in the bakery watching its interesting patrons philosophise behind their tall lattes or solve the world’s problems from behind the screen of their laptops. Eventually, our cornets arrived. 2 cronuts, 2 coffees and 2 white plates.

I picked mine up and turned it over. I grinned at my friend, yum, I took my first bite. It was good. But… nothing amazing. I looked at Jessie who had taken her first tentative bite. She sighed, disappointment etched across her oval eyes, “it’s overrated.”

Sad, right? This story got me thinking about how often in life things are overrated and how often we go with what the crowd says because of the hype?

Sitting in a coffee shop (without a cronut this time) I made a list of some of the things I think we overrate and their counterpart which is, sadly, underrated.

1. Overrated: Being busy.
Underrated: Doing less, but doing it well.

2. Overrated: Joining the crowd.
Underrated: Standing apart because you believe in something.

3. Overrated: Unrestricted freedom.
Underrated: Boundaries and constraints which guide your life and help lead you towards good decisions.

4. Overrated: Owning lots of stuff.
Underrated: Owning what you need, living light and having quality relationships.

5. Overrated: Abusing your body with drugs, alcohol or cigarettes.
Underrated: Knowing when to say No, and looking after your body and your health.

6. Overrated: Idolising famous people.
Underrated: Being humble and honouring people in your life- like your parents or your boss at work.

7. Overrated: Gossiping about someone so you fit into a group.
Underrated: Encouragement and refusing to get drawn into situations which aren’t your business.

8. Overrated: Focusing on winning.
Underrated: Focusing on improving and being the best you can be without comparing.

9. Overrated: Spending all your time partying or shopping.
Underrated: Taking time to volunteer or attend a church.

10. Overrated: Having lots of boys or girls interested in you.
Underrated: Finding the right person to invest in and commit to.

My list made me realize when you focus on the wrong things your life goes in the wrong direction.

How sad would it be if you got it all wrong and lived a life focused on all the things that are overrated? In life we have to make smart decisions for the long term and avoid becoming swayed by the next cool thing, cronut or not! The best example of someone to mould your life on is Jesus. In the Bible, Jesus sets an example for us on how to live a satisfied life. Give his story a look.

Fran Thring

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10 Things We Overrate

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