Don’t Settle: The Girls and Guys You DON’T Want to Date!

Boy meets girl. She thinks he’s cute. He thinks she’s cuter. They get drinks. The affection grows. Soon, life as they knew it is history – they are in love. If only it was that simple. This story-line leaves out the drunken fights, the does he like me conversations, the nasty names, and the hurt. No-one spoke to us about a process. No-one said we would have to think about it, be smart or be wise so that it all works out.

Back here in reality far away from Ryan Reynolds, Dear John, the Notebook or Moulin Rouge- all you need isn’t love. You need common sense, wisdom and a smart approach to your dating life so that your story has a happy ending.

Many times we settle for less than we deserve. We settle for someone who doesn’t respect us. We settle for someone who makes us feel worse not better about ourselves. We get all caught up in the emotions without listening to a wise voice which says – this isn’t the best for you. Many times if we are smart enough to catch the warning signs in the beginning then we won’t end up with broken hearts and hard learnings.

Girls and guys of the world – don’t settle. Don’t compromise your value or your future. Head the warnings.

Girls, here are some gents you do not want to date:

1. I still live with my Mom and I’m over 30. 
You want someone independent and responsible. We understand tough situations happen to everyone but see this as a warning sign.
2. I expect you to pick up after me. 
If you want a housekeeper, hire one. Girls, this is not part of your portfolio, everything in a relationship should be shared.
3. I can’t control my temper. 
Major warning sign. He could become physical and you have to think about your future kids and safety.
4. I put pressure on you physically to do things you don’t want to do.
 You do not have to do anything to keep or please a man. Be reasonable and communicate about things but don’t compromise your boundaries.
5. I don’t have, or aren’t looking for a job.
 You do not want to be someone’s sugar Mama! If the boy doesn’t have drive or a job, be careful, this may not be someone you want to invest into.
6. I’m jealous and controlling. 
If you feel like you are walking on egg shells for fear of your man’s response, think again. Your relationship should be based on trust not fear.
7. I watch sports games or play video games all day. 
Anyone can relax, but at no time should this become a priority over your relationship or a healthy and active lifestyle.

Guys, here are some girls you don’t want to date:

1. I flirt with everyone.
 This girl is after attention, not after you. Any girl who is using her body or flirting to gain attention from lots of men is a danger mine. Sooner or later she’ll move on, leaving you in the dust.
2. I’m a gold digger.
 Come on, nobody wants to date someone who likes their bank balance more than them. Relationships are give and take, not give and give.
3. I’m insecure and clingy. 
You can’t go out with your friends, you can’t look at her friend or she freaks out. See above – relationships are based on trust. You need a healthy amount of freedom.
4. I’m a bossy micromanager.
 This girl is a control freak. She will tell you how to eat your chips and what to wear. Step away and let her figure out her issues because she can nag you to death.
5. I’m moody and I cry all the time.
 Say a very loud NO to drama. Girls have moods but it is not fair if you feel like you live on a constant reality show, get out of there. You want someone stable and mature.
6. I’m obsessed with my appearance. 
3 hours to get ready? Really? Everything has to be perfect. Always looking in a mirror? No thanks. Go for someone who is comfortable in their own skin – this obsession is just a loud insecurity bell.
7. I lack substance.
 Do you really want someone who can’t have a conversation with you, doesn’t know themselves or has nothing to bring to the relationship? No, get out there and find someone who challenges you.

Be smart about who you date. People who have a strong and healthy knowledge of their own value and a God aligned sense of purpose for their life are always a better choice. I say it again, don’t settle! God made you a unique individual with value to offer, date someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated.