Do you ever go through seasons in life, where you feel overwhelmed by the weight of trying to do it all, carry it all and balance it all?
As a mom, I find that there are moments where I can do it all, balance it all, and even do it with a smile on my face. Then there are seasons where I feel like I can’t keep up, I feel overwhelmed, I feel anxious and I feel defeated. I am one of those people that want to do it all.
Let me explain, I want to be an awesome wife, I want to be that hands on mom to my son, I want to be a successful entrepreneur, and still have an amazing social life. I want to make the most of my time here on earth, as I have no idea when my time will come to an end. Therefore I feel passionately on my heart to do things that will bring hope, encourage and inspire those around me, I want to leave a legacy behind that speaks of inspiration! Therefore I feel this sense to help others wherever I can, and I push myself to keep on growing by saying yes to so many things.
What I struggle with, is being kind to myself, and keeping healthy boundaries in place that protect my emotional wellbeing. You see if we are not taking care of ourselves emotionally, or even physically it starts to affect the way we behave and think daily, which in turn affects how we behave around the people we love.
If I am trying to be everyone’s “go to”, everyone’s “hero”, I end up taking on more than I can handle. I say ‘yes’ to things that steal time away from my family, or make me feel emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed. It truly is hard for me to say ‘no’ to people, or say ‘no’ to things, as I feel rather strongly that “I must help others whenever I can”. When I say no to things, I feel guilty afterwards, I worry if it offended them, or if it puts them in a worse off position.
I heard this message by two amazing pastors Joel, and his wife Julia O’Bell the other night. They were talking about how to handle the pressures of life, and how to balance everything. They said something that changed my whole outlook on this predicament that I find myself in. They said :
“When you say NO to things, you give power to the things you say YES to”.
The truth is we can’t do it all. But with saying ‘yes’ to the right things that we can commit to, we are adding power, focus, and strength to it. Because we are dedicated and wholeheartedly there.
“Say NO out of strength instead of YES out of weakness”.
If we say ‘yes’ to lots of things, we are a bit scattered, distracted and not fully engaged as we are trying to carry and balance way too much than we can handle.
If we feel the need to help everyone all the time, we tend to feel like “we are the only ones who can help”. When in actual fact that is not the truth, maybe with us always saying ‘yes’ (all the time) we steal from another person who wants to say ‘yes’ to that particular opportunity to step up and do something new.
If you are like me, you honestly feel guilty about saying NO, and it’s a real struggle for you. May I just encourage you to earnestly take a step back and remember that if people truly loved and respected you, they wouldn’t take offence by you saying ‘no’. They would value and honour your NO, because it means they understand that you have boundaries, that you have limits, that you have a family you are thinking of, and that you are human and you can’t be everywhere, doing everything. That’s God’s job! The thing is we need to sometimes say NO, because in that NO, we are looking after ourselves emotionally, mentally or even physically.
Don’t feel pressured into saying Yes
Try not too feel pressured in saying YES right away , if someone has asked you do to something. Maybe say to them, “Can I just think about it and get back to you, I need just see if I can commit to it properly.”
Be realistic with your time
Now, I am not saying say NO to EVERYTHING. But be realistic about your time, and what you can commit to when considering saying YES.
If like me you get caught up in saying ‘yes’ far to quickly, pray and ask God to show you where you are going with the things that are currently in your hands : “Family, work, health, hobbies, etc”.
Ask God to give you the wisdom on how to create boundaries in your life that look after your well being as well your families well being. Then ask God to give you the courage to say NO, and to YES to the right things that will add to your life, and not steal from you in anyway.
For me when I feel overwhelmed by life in general, I know it is because I haven’t gone to God to ask him what he thinks I need to know or do about my current situation. When I seek him, and ask him to show me how to carry it all, he starts to quietly speak into my heart and he shows me what I need to say YES or say NO to.
Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. – Matthew 7:7
Life should be enjoyed, not endured. Why not ask God today to show you how to say YES with power and NO with courage by clicking on the link below.