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Cassan Ferguson

Moms need time out too

Cassan Ferguson
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Moms need time out too

What do you mean us moms need “time out?” Time out for what? For loving on our kids too much, for running around like a mad woman after them, making sure they get to school on time, eat their food, do their homework, bath, brush teeth, and get to bed at a decent time and actually fall asleep? Why should us moms get punished and be sent to time out for working so hard ?

ALL MOMS NEED TIME OUT

I’m talking about a soul refreshing time out. A time out that makes you feel pampered, loved, rested, and a bit refreshed! You know, those moments where you catch your breath; where you can just be. When last have you made time for yourself?

The thing is, if we aren’t intentional about scheduling in those sacred moments, we start to feel burnt out and we start to feel irritable; we have a shorter fuse; we become grumpier and start yelling at everybody. So I’ll ask again: when last have you made time for yourself?

Maybe you haven’t had the time, or maybe you do not have the financing for a spoil, or maybe you are used to being an afterthought and feel far too exhausted to even plan a bit of free time for yourself. Those can be legitimate reasons as to why you haven’t had a time out moment for yourself. But do not let those reasons stop you completely from finding the time to nurture your soul.

TIME OUT MOMENTS

The truth is that there is always time to find those time out moments. It does not need to be expensive at all.

Time out moments could look like this:

  • Reading a book somewhere quiet.
  • Having a candle lit bath.
  • Going for a walk.
  • Window shopping.
  • Organising a baby sitter and taking yourself out for a meal or for a movie.
  • Having your hair done.
  • Setting time aside to invest in a hobby or in something you are passionate about.
  • Indulging in a spa day.

JUST KNOW

As moms, we tend to spoil everyone around us first, which is a great thing. But often we forget about ourselves, and we neglect the spirit and heart of who we are. Sometimes we forget that we too are worthy of spoils and sacred time out moments.

Never forget that:

  • You deserve to spoil yourself.
  • You are allowed to have a breather and do something that you enjoy.
  • Mom moments do not need to be expensive.
  • When you take time to just breathe and just be, you will feel rejuvenated and you will come back home loving on your family with more joy.
  • Think about what you love doing and what makes you feel refreshed, and find the time to make it happen.
  • Listen to yourself. If you’re feeling highly strung and exhausted, then start to find ways where you allow yourself some rest.
  • Seek God in moments where you feel completely overwhelmed, and ask Him to guide you and refresh your spirit.

The thing is that we can’t do it all in our own strength. We are not robots, yet somehow we push ourselves as if we were. We are human beings, and we can feel exhausted and drained. We need to look after ourselves, and set time aside for ourselves where we can feed and nurture our souls. Sometimes the very thought of planning the time and space for a mom time out can be very exciting, which in turn starts to refresh us.

So why not start today by looking at your schedule and creating a sacred space just for you! Trust me, you will not regret it, and your future self will be so grateful! Remember mom, you deserve it!

How to find courage in a tough season

Cassan Ferguson
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How to find courage in a tough season

Have you ever found yourself going through a season or a situation where you are forced to stand up, rise above, and courageously face it all head on? Or have you felt an overwhelming sense of drowning in it all – almost as if you can’t do it anymore; like you can’t hold on to to hope anymore?

Sometimes seasons can be full of joy and blessing, and we move in it with a sense of ease. Other seasons tend to feel more enduring and overwhelming, and we feel almost as if we can’t carry the weight of it all. We can either let the trial of the season hold us captive, or we can hold our head high and move boldly through the unknown, knowing that hope is on the way!

Brave definition:

Having or showing courage, or courageous endurance. 

Brave synonyms:

Bold, daring, intrepid, dauntless, valiant, fearless, courageous, confident whilst facing difficulties. 

Sometimes seasons that are more enduring can shake our confidence and cause us to fear, and may even leave us feeling hopeless. This causes us to think negatively of our situation, and it causes us to remain in that season of frustration, because we fear facing it head on. However, if we want to see things around us start to change, we need to change our perspective and face our fears head on.

Being brave could look like this

Being brave requires an action; it could look different for everyone:

  • Deciding every day to get out of bed and face whatever it is that needs to be faced.
  • Taking a step forward, little steps day by day, in the hope of moving forward.
  • Daring to believe that things will eventually improve.
  • Holding on to hope.
  • Declaring God’s goodness and favour over your situation.

The thing about being brave; is that is doesn’t come with the absence of fear and hurt.
Bravery is the ability to look fear and hurt in the face, and say “Move aside, you are in the way”.
Melissa Tumino

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
Nelson Mandela

Just know

Sometimes we need to change our perspective and replace fearful thoughts with thoughts of hope, and be reminded of the following:

  • Your situation does not define you.
  • You will not stay in your season forever. Seasons always change.
  • God has not forgotten about you, therefore He will not leave you or abandon you.
  • You are braver than you know; more courageous than you realise. Do not sell yourself short!

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go before you. He will be with you, and He will neither fail you, nor abandon you.
Deuteronomy 31:8

I have often found in the challenging seasons that the moment I decide to rise above it and hold on to hope as I walk through it, I find my season starts to change and I realise in those moments of being brave that I am indeed braver than I give myself credit for. The same goes for you: you are braver and stronger than you will ever truly know or realise. Therefore, do not give up, hold onto hope as you move courageously forward through the storm! Just know that God is with you, and will strengthen you, and He will not leave you or forget about you! Dare to believe in Him, and in His promises. Dare to rise above, and take small daily actions of hope!

If this post spoke to you, and you would like to know more about living a life courageously, then may I encourage you to click on the link below.

How to confront others

Cassan Ferguson
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How to confront others

We are living in a day and age where we are either quite vocal when it comes to confronting others, or we are too scared to confront because we want to be overly sensitive when it comes to people’s feelings.

You see it all the time, especially online: People seem to have larger-than-life egos when it comes to venting their frustrations with complete strangers and they often say things that cross the line. And I highly doubt that they would behave or be as vocal about their frustrations in person. It’s easy to be loud and confrontational online with strangers, as we don’t have to deal with the reality of seeing the person face to face, and hearing their thoughts in person.

However, when it comes to the people we love, from family to friends to even work colleagues, we can’t ignore issues by pretending they do not exist. We aren’t helping them or ourselves by not confronting others.

WHY ARE WE AFRAID TO CONFRONT IN PERSON?

  • We fear their response.
  • We fear their rejection.
  • We fear that they may not take it well (again).
  • We don’t want to hurt anyone (ever).
  • We fear potential hurt from others (in their response to us).
  • We fear the unknown in general.

It’s amazing how fear can either propel us to react irrationally, or stop us from moving forward alltogether. However, we can’t live a life ruled by fear – sometimes we need to take action by lovingly confronting the fear head on. Because that’s where we will see breakthrough, and that’s where we will see significant change.

WHEN CONFRONTING OTHERS

Confronting others or challenging others, especially those that we love, isn’t always easy, as we are exposing vulnerable areas within us, and we want to seek a resolution, which means sifting through the dirt together.

Remember when confronting others : 

  • Speak with love.
  • Show kindness and respect when communicating your thoughts.
  • Ask yourself if what you are about to say is aimed towards a resolution and truth. We shouldn’t want to attack the person we are confronting. We should rather aim to enlighten and lovingly challenge others.
  • Try to avoid going through a back and forth of remarks: “You said that, I said that. Because you did that, now I’m going to do that!”. Rather focus on the issue and how you can move forward to find a resolution.
  • Use wisdom when communicating your thoughts and concerns.
  • Reassure them that you do indeed love them. Often when others feel confronted, they feel exposed and completely vulnerable. Therefore, make it known that you love them regardless of the issue. That reassurance keeps the trust going and gives confidence in finding resolve together.
  • Encourage the person, and speak life over the situation!
  • Remember you want to move forward, therefore forgive those that hurt you.

WHEN BEING CONFRONTED

When someone approaches you to confront you on something, try not to anticipate the conversation and think of all the things you will fire back at them.

Instead, try to: 

  • Be open to what the person is saying.
  • Listen carefully – don’t merely hear what you want to or expect to hear; rather listen to what it is they are saying and feeling.
  • Do not respond as a means of attacking them back. Settle your emotions first.
  • Wait until they are completely finished speaking, before responding.
  • When responding ask yourself if what you are about to say is beneficial for the conversation at hand, and if it will add strength to the process of going forward.
  • Think about what they are saying. Are they right in what they are saying or are they merely attacking you for the sake of bringing you down completely?
  • If you feel they are attacking your character, and the goal of the confrontation is not about finding a resolution, then put that conversation on hold.
  • If you need to apologise then do so, but do it sincerely.
  • Do not drop your head in shame and linger on any negative thoughts due to what was. We all make mistakes; we are human after all.
  • Remember that you are both working towards finding a resolution. Seek the solution, and move forward.

Although confronting others can be nerve wrecking, if not emotionally draining, it is ultimately very rewarding – especially when you work through your issues together and see growth and strength within one another. Confronting those we love not only challenges us personally, but it challenges those that are on the receiving end. Confrontation can be a blessing in disguise!

The secret to real confidence

Cassan Ferguson
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The secret to real confidence

I don’t believe that we were born insecure or lacking in confidence. You see it in children all the time. Children embrace life with a sense of adventure and with a sense of “what if”. Children aren’t born lacking confidence, however with time, through life experiences and upbringing, events and circumstances can shape and influence our confidence. We then try to find our confidence in other things, and when those things fail or disappoint us, it completely shakes our world, because our confidence was placed in the wrong things.

FINDING OUR CONFIDENCE IN THE WRONG THINGS:

  • In others: In what others say about us or think of us.
  • In things: In what we own, such as material objects.
  • In what we do, not in who we are.

WHY DO WE LACK CONFIDENCE?

  • We grew up never truly understanding our self-worth and value.
  • We grew up understanding a culture of self-doubt within our family upbringing.
  • Maybe people hurt us over the years, intentionally or unintentionally.
  • Maybe we were victims of emotional, physical or mental abuse and that has shaped the way we perceive ourselves and others.
  • Over the years we have started to believe in the lies of self-doubt and fear.
  • Maybe we made a mistake or messed up and now we believe we are a total mess up.

I know for me there have been very clear and distinctive moments in my life that had negatively shaped me. They were moments or instances that left me thinking and believing that I wasn’t called to do great things; that I would probably fail, and that I would be rejected because I wasn’t good enough. After a while these thoughts lived in my heart, and controlled my every move. It was a dangerous and very sad space to be in. My world felt very small, and I felt very frustrated by it.

Until one day, I felt God say to me :

You are worth so much more than this!

In that moment I knew I had two choices:

1. Ignore the voice of God.

2. Focus on God, so that I could unpack and discover what those words meant for me!

So, I decided to pursue God relentlessly. I decided to put my faith and confidence in Him. That meant I had to seek Him daily, and surrender all fearful thoughts into His loving hands. With every bit of surrendering, I felt Him speak into areas of my life that lacked truth, value and self-worth. But with time, God revealed his loving nature towards me, and I started believing that I was created in His perfect image, that He had created me (all of us) for greatness, and that it was not too late to dream in Him again! Slowly but surely, I felt as if all the hurt and disappointments started to disappear as His truth started to heal every wound.

This new-found confidence came from knowing who I was in God.

This confidence comes from a place of trusting in Him and also trusting in what He has created me for. This confidence comes from knowing my purpose is found in Him. This confidence is not arrogant – it celebrates, and it shares with others; if anything, it inspires others around us! This confidence comes from being in a relationship with God. It starts to shape us when we start to understand who we are in Him.

Why not start today by seeking God and by getting to know Him. If this post spoke to you, then why not click on the link below.

When friends fail you

Cassan Ferguson
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When friends fail you

Well, if I am like that, and I behave a certain way
and treat people a certain way, then obviously others should do the exact same thing for me!

People will naturally fail our expectations, especially when they had no idea how high or how unrealistic our expectations were to begin with. Then, when they do fail to meet them, we treat them differently – maybe we give them a cold shoulder or make them grovel for our favour and attention again, because passive aggressive behaviour will teach them a thing or two about disappointing me, right? Wrong!

ARE WE FAILING OTHERS ?

We can’t dismiss people because they failed to meet an unrealistic expectation, or an expectation that they did not know even existed in the first place.

We can’t box people and expect them to think , feel and behave the way we do. We can’t control their behavior, and we most certainly do not own people. People are human, and have their own unique way of perceiving things. This comes through in how they behave, love and communicate. We can’t fail them and their character based on how we go about doing things! It’s not fair on them.

What a lovely gift to give a friend to never expect them to be perfect.

DEALING WITH FAILED EXPECTATIONS

If we want strong relationships and healthy friendships in our lives, then maybe we need to look at the following:

1. Speak the truth with a deep sense of love

On one hand we can’t dismiss or excuse every behavioural attribute in others, especially if it consistently hurts us. Sometimes we need to be bold enough to have a conversation with those who have hurt or disappointed us. And no, we do not need to go into the conversation guns blazing, feeling defensive and overly emotional. However, we should approach others with a deep sense of love and respect, and communicate how we feel in a way that does not isolate or break down the one that is on the receiving end.

2 . Speaking the truth in love encourages respect

The truth is that those receiving your honest thoughts will feel respected by you, because you approached them and spoke with them first before ignoring them or dismissing them forever. Plus, when they hear how you feel, and what hurt you, they are able to understand how you process things, so that going forward they know how to approach you.

3 . Speaking the truth in love requires us to be open

Being open and honest with others is scary, because we need to be vulnerable; we need to let our walls down and swallow our pride, plus we need to be open to learning from others.

4 . Long standing friendships are a blessing

In the past I have had some conversations with friends that weren’t easy and most certainly were not comfortable to have. We had to talk through all the nitty gritty things in our friendship, and we had to also expose insecurities and hurt, which isn’t always easy to listen to and work through. But, I am so thankful that I have had those honest conversations, because those friendships have become my strongest and longest friendships to this day! Having those conversations and being open to learning from them will not only grow you in character, but it will bless you immensely.

5 . Love others without a sense of entitlement

One of the best gifts we can give to others is loving them without hesitation, and without a sense of entitlement, and without conditions attached to it. We shouldn’t do things for others because we want them to do it back for us; instead, we should do things for others because we love and value them. That’s easier said than done, as it requires us to be emotionally sound and secure, and it requires us to trust others with our friendship. Maybe we need to take a closer look at our friendships, and assess wether we are loving others unconditionally, and see where we can maybe grow and add strength to these friendships.

Here’s to healthy friendships, with healthy boundaries and expectations. May your friendships continue to grow from strength to strength and may it be a constant blessing to you and your friends!

Declutter your mind

Cassan Ferguson
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Declutter your mind

Do you ever feel as if there is too much noise in your mind – from over thinking, to anxious thoughts, through to keeping up with work pressure and family commitments? It’s almost as if our minds have become cluttered and we have no idea where to start when it comes to sifting and throwing out things that are taking up way too much space in our minds.

If I don’t take care of my house, and I neglect it, the mess around me starts to affect my mood, and it makes me feel a bit anxious. Because my home should be my safe haven, a place where I can relax and rest. How can I do those things if I am not intentional about cleaning it and looking after it?

The same goes for us, especially when it comes to our mental and emotional well being. What we think, we feel, which in turn affects or influences the way we behave in our day-to-day. Therefore we need to declutter our minds by sifting through all the thoughts that are bothering us, and seek peace with clarity of thought.

HOW CAN WE DECLUTTER OUR MINDS?

1. Write about it: I love writing! I love it because it helps me to visually see what is occupying my thoughts. When I write, I also feel like I gain perspective on what’s holding my thoughts captive.

2. Talk about it: Talking things through with someone you trust helps you to process what you are thinking and feeling, and it gives you perspective. Plus, letting out what has been burdening you makes you feel like those inner thoughts are no longer caging and overwhelming you.

3. Seek God: One my favourite verses is found in Psalm 46:10 and it says, “Be still and know that I am God”. I love this verse because when life feels a bit much, I simply bring myself to a pause, and let go of everything that I am trying to conquer and hold on to, and let Him do what only He can do. It’s one of the most freeing things to do. Plus, I feel so rested in those moments of surrendering all that weighs on me to Him. In those moments of seeking and surrendering, He always answers me, guides me, and gives me clarity of thought and peace!

Do not be anxious about anything,
But in every situation,
by prayer and thanks giving,
present your requests to God
and the peace of God which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4 : 6 -7 

When our thoughts start to weigh on us, it is always good to know that we can come to God and ask Him for help. We try so often to carry our burdens by ourselves, that we forget to reach out to God, and ask Him for His help. It’s exhausting trying to do it by ourselves, especially in our own strength! I love knowing that we can come to God no matter the issue, and He will lovingly respond to us. If something is weighing on you, and you’re feeling anxious, then why not lean into God’s presence and call out to Him.

If this post spoke to you and you would like to find out more about God, then why not click on the link below.

Mind your online manners, mom!

Cassan Ferguson
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Mind your online manners, mom!

I find it quite funny that as parents we are so aware of raising our children to know, understand and practice good manners, when most parents forget to mind their own manners.

You see it all the time online – adults acting like hungry irrational toddlers! Moody; abrupt behavior; having a semi-breakdown in public or online; reacting instead of listening properly; throwing things; getting defensive or being easily offended. They them start to threaten others, and some emotionally and verbally bully others– and they even feel justified and entitled whilst doing so! It’s as if some adults never really grow up and leave the playground.

I have mainly noticed this behaviour on online mom groups – whether it’s a Facebook page created for moms, or an online blogging forum, or a rant on any form of social media.

ONLINE MOM GROUPS UNCOVERED

Every online group forum has an interesting mix of individuals. Upon observation we found the following groupings of moms:

1. The cheer leaders: These women have your backs 100%. They won’t judge you. Instead, they will relate to you, encourage you, and laugh and cry with you! These individuals are basically your online go-to buddies!

2. The ranters: These women sure do love to moan about everything, and they will let you have it and type all of their letters in capitals with loads of explanations marks at the end of their sentences. Because !!!!!!!!!!!

3. The I’m-online-all-of-the-timer: These women are online 24/7. Do not ask me how they do, but they somehow do it! I’m convinced that they type their comments with their eyes closed whilst they are asleep. However, these women are committed to the cause of those mom groups, and they will reply to every comment!

4. The online bullies: Yup, we have heard of them, we have experienced them firsthand and, yes, we have seen them magically disappear from online groups thanks to the admins of those pages! But these women seem to thrive off attacking everyone within the group. They are basically looking for a fight, 24/7. Hello, fight club!

5. The overly sensitive: These dear souls will read into everything, from what was said, to what was not said. They will interpret comments into something completely different, and they will get easily offended and leave the group with their confidence crushed.

6. The know-it-all: Yeah, we know them well, don’t we. Because most of us are them! The know-it-alls, they have all the answers – if not, they know Google has the answers and they will be quick to answer and solve all the mysteries of life!

My question is this:

What grouping of women do you fall under?

The reason why I ask this is because it’s good for us to know, understand, and take ownership of our behaviour. Please note that I am not judging, as I so understand that we have our moments, and we are human and things happen. But if you can’t play nice online, then how can you play nice in real life and expect your children to mimic great behaviour and good manners ?

If your words and actions don’t line up,
your words won’t carry much weight with your children. 

I do believe that online mom groups can be amazing for moms as a whole. We can learn from one another, we can share resources, and encourage and inspire one another on these online platforms.  Maybe we need to reassess what it is that we want to bring and contribute towards these online groups.

ONLINE MOM GROUP ETIQUETTE

How can we ensure that these online mom groups are a safe environment for all?

1. Don’t take it personally: We can easily take things personally, especially when it comes to online comments. If someone is giving their honest opinion on a subject, try not to read into it.

2. Think before you respond: Sometimes we don’t always need to respond to comments, especially if they are hurtful. Sometimes saying nothing in response to something negative is the better response! Silence just kills ignorance in its tracks.

3. Know your intentions: If you’re part of an online group, remember why you joined it and support and respect the group and community of individuals in that group.

4. Use a filter: When it comes to parenting, we all think our opinions are just the best, when in actual fact they are just that: opinions. We tend to forget that what works for us, won’t necessarily work for others. Therefore, we can’t criticise how someone else chooses to do things that feels right for their children. We need to show some respect and love towards others, and we also need to be a bit open to hearing what others have to say!

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others.
For beautiful lips, only speak words of kindness.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
Audrey Hepburn

Before you open one of your many online apps and want to converse with other moms online, just go in knowing and understanding your intentions. Every woman or mom has her own personal battles that she may be going through. Therefore we need to show a little bit more love and kindness towards one another. After all, we are all in on this parenting gig together!

Where’s your heart at?

Cassan Ferguson
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Above all else, guard your heart,  for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23

I’ve read this verse before, but for some reason when I read it recently it sat with me and it got me thinking about the condition and state of my heart. I slowly started realising that my heart wasn’t in a great space, because unintentionally I had let little things creep in that was negatively impacting my thoughts and behaviour without me even realising it up until now!

When we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, we tend to neglect our hearts, and things start to creep in and sneakily shape how we think and behave. The truth is, if we aren’t intentional about guarding our hearts and looking out for it, then we let negative thoughts and issues control and define our behaviour.

INTERNAL HEART CHECK

We can see the state of our hearts by identifying and relating to the following : 

1. Comparison: We may start to compare ourselves with others when we forget our true value and sense of worth and beauty. 

2. Negative speech: Gossiping about others, constant negative criticising of others, and speaking harshly or unkindly of others as a means of making yourself feel better.

3. Finding affirmation in the wrong places: From online likes and followers, to craving any sort of attention and affirmation as a means of building your confidence.

4. Being selfish: Being selfish with your time; not wanting to lend a hand; and not wanting to help those in need because you only have your own interests at heart.

A NEW HEART

I love knowing that at any point in my life, I can press the reset button. What I love knowing more, is that I don’t need to try figure it out by myself, but I can call on God at every turn, and He will always lovingly point me in the right direction again!

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10 

The great news is that we can call out to God, and ask God to heal our hearts – and He will. Not only will He heal us, but He will create a new heart within us. A heart that feels confident of His love; a heart that feels valued and secure, a heart that knows and understands its self-worth. God can heal every hurt, and He will reveal His truth and His promises to you which will in turn positively impact the way you live! If this post encouraged you, or spoke to you, then why not click on the link below to find out more.

Raising children in the tech age

Cassan Ferguson
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Raising children in the tech age

We are living in a day and age where technology is advancing at a rapid rate! So, it’s no surprise that technology has been introduced within the schooling system. Schools are starting to use iPads as a platform for making teaching and learning more innovative and more engaging.

Books have been turned into apps, homework can now be emailed, projects can be submitted online to the teachers, text books can be downloaded, and YouTube tutorials can all be sourced with the click of a button!

I taught at a school that was very technology orientated. I was there when they started introducing iPads into the classrooms. What was surprising was that the children adapted very easily to the use of tablets, while the teachers took a while to get used to it. Teachers had to start thinking of ways in which to integrate curriculum through the use of the iPad. This meant that teachers had to become more innovative in their approach when adapting curriculum. Teachers would create websites, or interactive pages where students could become more engaged with the training material. Textbooks could be downloaded instantly; homework and projects could be emailed directly.

This could sound foreign to you, but the reality is that this is the age we are living in.

The question is:

How do we adapt with the times, but still look out for the interests of our children ?

It’s a tough debate!

PROS OF TECHNOLOGY IN SCHOOLS

  • Learners become more engaged with the curriculum, as it’s being taught through a platform they are familiar with and interested in.
  • It teaches children to be more innovative when creating and communicating ideas through tablet computers.
  • You save the environment by making text books available for download, and when you use apps for writing and submitting work.
  • Teachers learn to become more innovative and creative when communicating curriculum through the means of an iPad.
  • Learners will be confident when it comes to the use of technology, which they can use in the business sector later in life.

CONS OF TECHNOLOGY IN SCHOOL

  • Learners lack social skills due to solely being used to working on these devices.
  • Writing and communication skills can take a negative spiral.
  • Incorrect spelling and grammatical issues may develop.
  • Poor verbal communication skills.
  • Mentally distracted.
  • The cost of a tablet, maintenance, and apps can be high.
  • Being exposed to things that may be harmful to them.
  • Cyber bullying.
  • Finding affirmation through online apps at a young age.

HOW CAN WE PROTECT OUR TECH AGE CHILDREN?

  • Monitor screen time.
  • Encourage reading and writing of creative stories.
  • Encourage taking part in performing arts subjects that encourages role play, social skills, movement and verbal communication.
  • Set privacy settings on your children’s apps.
  • Research and know what all the different apps are. You can’t protect your children when it comes to online apps, if you yourself aren’t knowledgeable on it.
  • Use wisdom when it comes to them wanting to be on social media apps. Ask yourself: Is it age appropriate? Will it expose them to risks? Are they emotionally vulnerable?
  • Teach them about cyber bullying – teach them what is and isn’t okay to say and do online. Encourage them to come forward if they are being cyber bullied.
  • Block certain sites.
  • Do not give them free reign to the downloading of apps. Monitor it.
  • Encourage educational apps.
  • Teach your child about self-worth, and that this can’t be found online via social media.

I do think that technology can be used positively in a schooling environment, and it definitely has benefits for both the teacher and the student. But I do think we need to look out for our children, and look after them emotionally, especially when they are so young. As parents and  teachers we need to protect the hearts and minds of these future world changers. We can adapt, but still use wisdom and common sense when raising our children in a tech age.

What do you think of the idea of iPads being used in classrooms?

 

How to finally get rid of regret

Cassan Ferguson
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How to finally get rid of regret

I knew I should have bought those shoes last week!

Maybe I shouldn’t have spoke to them that way!

I should have treated them better!

I should have gone for that interview!

I should have told the truth when I had the chance.

I should have told loved ones how much they meant to me more often.

Regrets look different for everyone. Someone may mull over a pair of shoes that they should have bought, whilst another sits with the guilt of doing something that they shouldn’t have, or a missed opportunity and moment that could have been.

When we live with regret:

  • We keep living in a state of what if.
  • We never move forward.
  • We are not present.
  • We are unable to embrace where we are.
  • We can’t grow if we are always looking back.
  • We can’t see the way ahead if we are living in the past.

Sometimes regrets can teach us a thing or two:

  • We learn what not to do next time.
  • We learn to appreciate others more.
  • We learn to take bold risks.
  • We learn to be a bit more present and embrace the throws of life!
  • We learn to make the most of the situation and season we find ourselves in.

Why the regret?

  • Fearing the possibility of failing.
  • Worrying about what others will think of you.
  • Not caring enough for others and loved ones.
  • The fear of trying something new.
  • Lack of confidence in oneself.

Moving from regret:

  • Sometimes we need to look at whatever is causing the regret and ask ourselves if we can practically fix/resolve the situation so that we can move forward from it.
  • We need to let go of regret, and not let it control us.
  • We need to embrace what was, and look to what could be.
  • We need to also make peace with things that are out of our control.
  • We need to try new things without fearing the “what ifs”.

God gives us life to the full – it even says so in the Bible. Yet, we think we are underserving of it. I remember there was a season in my life where I sat with major guilt and condemnation and I sat with a whole lot of regret. I didn’t even realise that it had such a powerful hold over me. It would literally consume me and influence my day-to-day decision making, and it wasn’t adding any joy in my life.

That was the case until I understood who God was, and how He loves me (and you) unconditionally! When I took the time to intentionally get to know Him, I found His constant truth speak into my life, which helped me to let go of things that I could not change. It helped me to look at my future without fearing the “what ifs”. And let me just tell you that it’s one of the most freeing spaces to be in!

Do not let regret consume you, or negatively influence your day-to-day living. Your best days lay before you!

If this post spoke to you, or if you need someone to talk to regarding this, then why not click on the link below. We would love to hear from you!

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