Being a kid can be really tough. On one hand you’re supposed to be learning pretty much everything that you will ever need to know about facing the world as a grown up and becoming, if at all possible, successful. Then, on the other hand, you’re meant to be having fun, playing, enjoying your days and being, well, just a kid. Talk about a conflict of interests! While childhood is most certainly a hard road for children to navigate, it’s no stroll in the park for parents either. Finding that sweet spot between encouraging your child to be all they can be and being a raving loony who is pushing them to be the next gold-medal, Oscar-winning, Grammy awarded, nobel peace prize, bill gates type is sometimes harder than you would imagine.
Be No. 1
It stands to reason that any parent wants their child to do well in life. Seeing someone you love achieving something and excelling is one of life’s great pleasures. Parents want their children to succeed but it is possible to go too far and let the desire for your child to be above average becomes something less than pretty. I wrote a post recently about living vicariously. Many people live through the experience of others via social media but it is possible for parents to see their children, either consciously or subconsciously, as a way to achieve things that they maybe weren’t able to themselves. A recent article in The Telegraph explained how parents were pushing their children to achieve well academically for the sake of awards and recognition but missing the whole point of learning and receiving an education that would last beyond the trophies.
At what cost?
The problem with pushy parenting is that it very often achieves the opposite of the desired results. Instead of enabling your child to excel and become outstanding, you run the risk of producing an anxious, unkind individual who battles with low self-esteem. A study conducted by Arizona State University also found that if parents seemingly value achievement over social skills and kindness, then the child is more like to be depressed. So while it’s important to encourage and support your child it is worthwhile remembering that you can have too much of a good thing.
Supporting role not the star act
Encouragement and guidance are part of the parental job description. Helping your child to find out what they are good at and what they love is one of the perks of the job. Not every child has dreams of changing the world or being the greatest and that’s okay but they still need to know that their mom and dad believes in them and thinks they’re great. However, if your child wants to achieve big then it’s your privilege to help them to reach for the stars but let them lead the charge.