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David Webster

The positive power of hate

You might have clicked on this link purely out of disbelief that I have written a post on this topic – but I hope your preconceived millennial mindset doesn’t allow any type of offense to take root too soon. ‘Hate’ is a taboo word when it comes to modern rhetoric. With the rise of terrorism and the entrenching of the hippie ethos our parents (or grandparents) adopted, there is an incredible emphasis on peace, love and unity.

But this world cannot exist without hate. You can see it in the unprecedented amount of unedited rants on social media.  The sad reality of violence in schools and in certain communities is also an example of how suppressing hate can result in a terrible reality. It will spill out somewhere.

Sounding a bit ‘doom and gloom’? There is hope. There is a godly way to hate. It’s a healthy and necessary aspect of our lives. Our capacity to loathe is intrinsic. But what we hate is important.

God hates

Now it’s important firstly to know that God doesn’t hate you. He doesn’t hate people. He made people. But there are things that He cannot stand. It’s in the Bible – the six things that God hates:

  1. Eyes that are arrogant
  2. Tongue that lies
  3. Hands that murder the innocent
  4. A heart that hatches evil plots
  5. Feet that race down a wicked track
  6. A mouth that lies under oath

There is a seventh thing on the list that it says God also loathes:

7. A troublemaker in a family

Notice that God hates aspects of sinful actions, but never hates the person who perpetrates them. He does strongly dislike troublemakers, though, just for the record.

The reason why hate is a present part of God’s countenance is because of the fact that He is love. He loves us so much that anything that will harm us will, in turn, be hated by God. God hates arrogance – that steals dignity from others and isolates those who judge. He hates our ability to lie – because it breeds distrust and pain. He hates murder – as it cuts lives short of their purpose and breaks the hearts of all those connected to it. He hates evil plans – that plan the demise and harm of others. He hates eagerness to do wrong – the lust that can destroy us (His creations) from the inside out. And He hates dishonesty that imprisons the innocent and enables the guilty.

Hate, in many ways, is the opposite of love. You cannot truly love someone or something without hating whatever would negatively affect them.

Where hate doesn’t belong

I know there are many terrible things that are taking place in our world. Terror on this earth is not only becoming more prevalent, but is also broadcast immediately – portraying perspectives that are taken as fact without consideration of perspective.

Our immediate reaction to injustice is to hate the people responsible. But this is a misguided placement of hate – because that breeds disunity and contempt for individuals and people groups that you will never truly know.

It takes someone mature to recognize that whatever has happened, hating a person immediately denies you the opportunity to understand why they did what they did. It’s like taking revenge out on a jug for the bitter water inside of it.

People are messed up – you and I included. In our continent especially there is an underlying hate for oppressors that is tearing at us from beneath the surface. But if we direct our hate towards the right things, it can become constructive rather than destructive.

Where hate belongs

There is no shame in hating. It means that you love something enough to deeply despise anything that affects it. But we need to hate the right things.

In the Bible it says that if we love God, we will hate what He hates. Godly hate is the foundation for justice on earth. It is the true essence of change in many situations. But it needs to be in line with the Word of God.

What now?

I don’t know where you stand in terms of hate. You might be fighting against it – feeling guilty about the fact that you are feeling animosity towards people. Hate is an important part of your emotional health. Stop trying to hide it – otherwise it will affect you negatively.

You may be struggling with hate towards individuals or groups of people. I can tell you now, it will affect you more than it will ever effect them. Hate can distill into violence very easily, which builds a cycle of suffering that has placed us in this current situation. If you are willing to redirect your hate towards the actions and attitudes of the people and away from who they are as a whole. Hurt people hurt people. The bitterness of hate has been passed down the generations from as far back as Adam. It’s time to break that cycle – with God’s help – and heal.

Without God, I have found it impossible to truly change. If you want to be able to move on from the things that are holding you in hate – God is the answer. He knows exactly how you can constructively use that energy to change the injustice of this world. Click on the link below to find out more.

You can’t do anything

As a music instructor, I engage with many young people. I’m not going to lie – it is pretty challenging to work with them under the watchful eye of parents. These days there are so many different parenting styles and ethoses that it is very hard to know how to approach teaching. Authority is no longer a given when it comes to children – in many ways seniority and respect for elders isn’t even part of their world at all. I know that this is a complex and incredibly touchy subject – and I don’t want to sound judgmental at all – but there is a trend that I have begun to see. It’s a premise that an entire generation is building their hopes, dreams and existence on. It has been a slogan that you will find on most ‘inspirational quotes’ Instagram pages with some cheesy mountain peaks or beach sunset backgrounds:

“You can do anything.”

Before you start jumping to the many arguments that support this statement – hear me out. I know that there are more possibilities these days due to the advancement of technology and fields of psychology. I know that there has been a ‘liberation’ from oppressive systems and old-fashioned mindsets. But that still doesn’t justify the absolute nature of the word ‘anything’. Here are a few reasons why I believe you and I cannot do anything we want – or even put our mind to.

1. Ability will never be equal

My music teaching is a great example of this. I have to instruct a whole lot of students that have been told their whole lives that they can do anything they want to. But no matter how much some will work, they will never become a rock star lead vocalist. Now I agree that everyone needs equal opportunity to develop, but even if everyone was given the exact same opportunity (in any area of life) – there will be some who fail and some who succeed.

Each person on the planet has different cognitive, expressive and emotional capacities that interplay to form an individuality unlike any other. So there will never be a ‘level playing field’ in any area of life. Everyone cannot be an accountant if they put their mind to it. Everyone cannot be a writer if they put their mind to it.

In a world that would very much like to get rid of every limit and boundary, I am watching a generation becoming more and more anxious and stressed – trying to achieve the ‘anything’ while their actual gifting and ability has not been considered.

Hard work is not the answer to every problem.

If I were to become an Engineer, I would have to work extremely hard to meet the basic requirements of that role – while those who love that profession would be able to excel with much less effort.

2. ‘Anything’ doesn’t account for the process

When the possibilities are endless – it is very easy for you to be paralyzed due to option fatigue. And in this age of instancy, when ‘anything’ is on the table it is hard to commit fully to anything specific. The fact is, no matter what your dream might be, there is a process that will require a whole lot of endurance. Whatever you want to achieve in life is going to be extremely hard – otherwise it wouldn’t be worth it. But the danger with ‘anything’ is that the moment we have chosen something, and that something gets hard – we can easily give up and go back to the ‘limitless possibility’ drawing board, which is a way more romantic perspective to live in.

If we are not careful we can live our whole lives there – with all the potential in the world and nothing to show for it. If you truly believe you can do anything, you have an unrealistic picture of yourself. One of the best things for your self-esteem is knowing what you are not good at. It will direct your energy and enable you to fail – one of the greatest educations you will ever have.

3. Anything is possible with God, but we weren’t made for something

Many Christians have used the phrase “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” to support the ‘anything’ aspiration. But it’s imperative to recognize the phrasing. I believe with all of my heart that knowing Jesus means that I can do “all things”. But the catch comes in the second part – “through Christ”.

The fact is, Christ is the limit to that ‘anything’. It immediately erases anything that is not going to be the best for me. If I am bound to Christ – I will have the strength to do what He wants me to do. All of a sudden it is no longer an open, limitless playing field called life – I am bound to the will and heart of God.

We were made with intention; with a specific mandate to be ourselves completely – and that means we have to have boundaries.

As a creative person, I believe that the worst thing you can give an artist is ‘free reign’. The limits define the artwork. The frame contextualizes and empowers the artwork. In the same way, when we know our limits, we are able to actually progress and build our lives – instead of fumbling through life trying whatever, whenever, we have that fleeting desire. Our failures and inabilities, our challenges and struggles, help us focus and move in a constructive direction.

Are you feeling stagnant? Have you lost your passion for life? Are you clueless about what (or who) you want to be? One of the most proactive things you could do is invite Jesus into your decision process. He knows who you are better than you ever will – God made you and wants to lead you into extreme effectiveness. Click on the link below to find out more.

TRAILER: The Heart of Man

In my usual Facebook perusal (I am guilty of a few a week) – I came across a recurring link that stopped me in my tracks. This was no Buzzfeed test or series of global warming images. It was a video that cut through the trivial rants of unedited people and delivered a message that I not only believe is vital to our world, but one that has personally changed my life. Check it out:

 

Pretty awesome, right? After some research, there is not much more about the film. Set to be open for only one day in cinemas in the US, it isn’t even clear whether it will ever reach Africa. So why write about it? The content of the trailer alone is worth expanding upon.

Shame

The structure of the film is based on a contemporary narrative of the Prodigal son – a story in the Bible about a younger son who demanded his inheritance while his father was still alive and then spent it carelessly in the sordid pleasures of the fallen world. He ended up broke and working for scraps on a farm. He had hit rock bottom and decided that he would try going back to work as a servant in his father’s household. But when he returned, his father extravagantly welcomed him home and celebrated his son’s return.

It was a parable that Jesus told about the Kingdom of heaven. How even though we have intentionally messed up our lives – God still desperately wants to welcome you into His home and forgive you for what you have done.

You would think that choosing to go home would have been a natural decision for the wayward son, but something held him back – shame.

The narrative of shame builds walls that hold us back from God. Despite many hellfire preachers trying to shame people into heaven, I haven’t seen it do anything for our generation. The only thing that evil can muster in preventing us from finding home, forgiveness and reconciliation is the illusion of hopelessness. In this trailer, there is a marvelous quote:

“What if shame was our bridge… not a barrier?”

The meaning of these words may seem elusive at first, but that’s where the second element of the film is key – it consists of interviews with high-profile writers and artists who have struggled with brokenness, addiction and identity. The idea is that we are not alone and can all identify with each other in our weaknesses. Shame is one of the most relatable subjects in humanity. Hearing stories from people who have reached the other side of that shame is not only inspiring, but potentially life-changing.

With production quality that feels genuine and subject matter that engages beyond an interest-level, this could be one of the best Christian-content films around today. Among a few recognizable names involved in the project are Pastors Chad and Julia Veach – who pastor a local church in LA and have a global impact relevant to the youth culture. If they are anything to go by, this film could be a cinematic first in reaching people where they need to be found most – isolated and exhausted in the consequences of their decisions.

My favorite quote is from William Paul Young (author of ‘The Shack’):

“Nothin’ so dead that God can’t grow something living in it.”

I have had a treacherous history with shame. It almost stole everything from me. But finding God and shaking the lie of shame off has proved this statement so true – it resonates to the core. God has a hope that will grow from ANY circumstance. If you find yourself caught up in shame – far from God and people and love, I want to encourage you to stop allowing it to push you away from God. The only way you ever end the cycle of shame in your life – whether brought on by abuse, addiction, lust or other bad choices – is by growing in relationship with a God that is undaunted by our mess and completely capable in changing the narrative of lives. It’s the only way I am alive today.

If this piece has spoken to you, please leave a comment or click on the link below to find out more.

3 signs that you’re not listening

How do you know if you are hearing and receiving what you need to live well? There is enough information available for you to make many different choices that could lead you down multiple paths of life. There are compelling facts on global warming that could convince me to become a vegetarian. There are many emotionally charged campaigns that could persuade me to become politically vocal. There are facts that can convince me to give up on trying to live like there is a future. There is wisdom that could incite an elevation of thinking that changes your perspective and, in turn, your life. There are many stories that can tell you how to live, how not to live and who to blame for your current circumstance.

But you have a choice to be affected by all this information.

The scariest trend seen in our generation is the rise of post-truth thinking. It is the pinnacle of the belief that ‘everything is relative’. It allows every individual to choose their own ‘truth’ and splinters society into a chaotic mess of sub-genre’s of human existence. It justifies pride and could result in a subliminal ‘caste system’ for our souls. Everyone’s pain could then be expressed in any form without anyone being allowed to address the true root of it.

I know this may read like a rant, but I am concerned that today people can justify every selfish or dysfunctional choice they have made – without being given the opportunity to change. I believe that there is truth that is universal – that connects with humanity spiritually, emotionally and, ultimately, physically. But it requires us to stop trying to justify our situation – to shut up and listen for truth and wisdom. Here are a few things I have had to stop doing in order to actually receive the truth that will change me. They are symptoms to the sickness of proud self-analysis.

Reacting

Now I am not saying you need to ignore your emotional state – we always need to deal with how we feel. But a reaction is a spontaneous, unbridled response that can dictate your whole life moving forward. If you receive truth or wisdom and immediately react, I can guarantee you there is no way you will retain the true message that was conveyed to you. It may be feedback concerning your work, or a corrective rebuke from your oversight. It could be something you read and share on Facebook but never truly engage with personally. You might hear someone speaking and clap – impressed by the smart communication skills – but are you allowing it to go deeper.

In a world full of information, I believe we would be able to discern what is useful from what isn’t, if we just stopped reacting to whatever is thrown at us. That requires distancing yourself in the moment to decide what is going to rule you. It is a form of self-control that will enable you to hear God in the storm and stand unwavered while others catastrophically wear themselves out with the surface problems of an unpredictable world.

Shopping around

I know this is a weird term, but it relates to the idea that there are many options to choose from and if you don’t like what may be said you can move on to another explanation or reality. I have done this many times – if I haven’t liked the answer to a question I am asking, it is very easy to ignore it and try to find another explanation that makes me feel better.

This kind of behavior completely discredits the authority of sources. It belittles the hard-earned experience and wisdom of those who care enough to address your challenges and makes them equal to the opinions of those who are communicating simply to impress you.

There is an uncensored amount of opinions stated as fact online that you could choose to build your life on. But if you would allow yourself to receive the hard truth without shirking it, you will be able to change and grow as a person.

Fighting to be heard

The world elevates unrealistic versions of success to the point where it is very easy to be insecure. Insecurity is one of the pandemics of this generation. It can manifest in striving, showing off, people pleasing’ and comparison. But all of these expressions are, in essence, a way of fighting to be heard.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who just wants to speak their opinion without listening to yours? I have been on both sides of that coin. The sad thing is, we can live most of our lives stating our own constructed opinions – based on limited actual experience and selected information from ‘professionals’ that you’ve never met or seen before. When, if you simply listened, you would be able to possibly allow yourself the chance to change into a better version of yourself.

I believe God wants to speak to us all – to tell us things that will not only enable us to grow, but will also change the world around us. But if we are not able to listen, there is a danger that we will stay the same and lose any hope of becoming who we were intentionally made to be.

If you want to hear a truth that was not constructed to simply impress or please you. If you want heartfelt and unapologetic fact that could change your life, can I encourage you to stop shopping around for options, stop fighting to be heard and stop reacting to every whim of the untrustworthy information age. God wants to work with you individually. He wants to encourage and empower you to overcome problems, rather than explain them into permanent dysfunction. Click on the link below to find out more.

Wonder: Hillsong United

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With music that is steeped in rich meaning, Hillsong United is not just a band or worship team, it is a movement that has swept the earth. With a clear message of hope and faith, it is undeniable that their story is as unique as it is remarkable – bridging the divide between ancient truth and cultural relevance beyond the four walls of the church.

Starting off as a youth band in a local church in Australia, United was a group of young people who changed the sound of church for a generation. I remember sitting in the lounge alone on holiday as a twelve-year old – watching a DVD documentary they made with their album – and being radically changed. I met God through their unapologetic love of Christ, and I know there are thousands that can say the same.

As the guys (and girls) in United grew up, their sound has changed – becoming more progressive, while still retaining the heart-fought truth and honest stance of worship. After a two-year hiatus, Aftermath was released in 2011 – clearly carrying a new musical ambition that has captured the attention of those who would otherwise have written off ‘gospel music’ as something that only belongs in the Bible Belt. Stylistically, this allows God to be who He is – relevant.

Their new album – Wonder – is set to do the same. With an awesome campaign that hearkens to the late 80’s/early 90’s retro aesthetic (find it on their Instagram), comes a sound that is definitely more colourful than the previous Empires album. Based on the two pre-released tracks, there is definitely a fuller texture – with robust synths and well-defined layers.

In both Wonder and Splinters and Stones there is a layered treatment of vocals which was present in previous projects, but feels significantly defined. Wonder embodies a three-part harmony approach with additianal looped vocals in the big sections, while in Splinters and Stones there is more of Bon Iver – like vocoder in the verses and congregational choruses at the end.

Where Empires was definitely a vast, expansive sonic environment that carried an awe-inspired intimacy, Wonder definitely sounds more celebratory in mood and feel. Check out the lyric video for the title track below:

 

Between touring, family life, serving in their local church, it is hard to perceive how they have been able to produce yet another album. Watching the recent Let Hope Rise film about their lives, it is clear that there is a significant cost involved in reaching people like they do. As someone who has personally been changed by their creative diligence, I am extremely grateful.

If you’re being honest, you might be in the same boat as I was 13 years ago – unconvinced about God and what he meant to me. But I found a God who not only cared, but believed in me. A God who was relevant to my problems and full of incredible fun. He is exciting and full of wonder – powerful and brilliant. If you personally want to experience Him personally, click on the link below to find out more.

Who are you going to please?

Pleasure is a metric commodity in society today. It can be measured along the scales of money, time and amount of communication. But there is a fourth unseen axis that truly activates the role of pleasure in everyday life. It’s that mystery dimension that has eluded me and many others into thinking ourselves way more innocent or pure than we actually are.

Let’s face it – everything we do is motivated by pleasing someone. You might not have thought about it much, but I don’t think it would take long for you to agree. Pleasure is an underlying currency that drives greed as much as it justifies revenge. It is an elusive reward for anger and violence, and traps millions in the throes of unhealthy indulgence – from food, to social media and sex.

So right now, who are you pleasing? I believe it can only be one of three people groups:

  1. Yourself

Never has this world ever been as encouraging of self-indulgence. We find ourselves in a generation where self-identification is at the pinnacle of all appreciation. If you want to indulge in a decadent chocolate dessert, the world will encourage you – even make you feel like you deserve it. If you want to look at porn online – many would say it’s just a normal part of life (which is an outrage). Both of these indulgences are scientifically proven to be detrimental to you physically.

The age of advertising has entrenched a sense of entitlement in our post-millennial perspective, when in fact we don’t deserve anything. As much as humanity as a whole deserves much, none of us have done anything to warrant the privilege of being able to go online. Even if you worked hard to earn the money for the device you are reading this on, the opportunities resulting in you being able to earn are fortunate and not deserved. They are moments of blessing that you chose to utilize.

It may seem harsh, but were you in control of whose womb you came from? What colour your skin is? Which gender you happen to be? And yet we all (myself included) believe that we deserve to please ourselves. I think the suicide rate, the rise of depression and aggression are all signs of a world way to obsessed with pleasing itself.

  1. Others

You might think that this is a way better option than that of the one above. Instead of looking after your own desires, you become the self-less martyr for other peoples’ causes. Don’t get me wrong, serving others is a vital and fundamental part of a healthy existence – but there is a line. This line is extremely subtle and dangerous. I have missed it countless times myself.

If you place other peoples’ pleasure on a pedestal and work tirelessly to meet their desires and needs, you can actually start losing yourself. If you consistently cast aside who you are to tend to those around you, you can very easily forget who you were made to be for the happiness of those around you.

This can manifest in something as small as someone’s opinion of you. If you worry so much about keeping them happy and impressed, you are losing precious moments that were meant to help you develop individually. In the Bible Jesus tells us to tend to the log in our own eye before trying to help someone get a speck out of theirs.

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You might be a little confused at this point – I have slated pleasing ‘self’, saying that we should look after others and then warned about pleasing others resulting in losing yourself. These are not absolutes – they are two ends of a spectrum.

So where is the balance?

  1. God

We were made by God and in our very existence, He was pleased with us. Pleasing God is where we find ourselves safely in the healthy middle of the spectrum. People will not always like your decisions. You may have to sacrifice what pleases you for what is healthy. But if you are intently doing your best to please God, you will find your soul will prosper and your confidence will grow.

Where pleasing yourself might continuously cost you financially and leave a trail of heartbreak; where pleasing others might cost you your health and leave you more broken than before – pleasing God costs you your whole life, but actually builds you up.

Submitting to your own desires makes you a captive of those desires. Submitting to others will result in the degradation of your own identity. Whereas, submitting to God unlocks the wonders of everything He created for you. If you would like to find out more, click on the link below.

Harry Styles – Album Launches TODAY

This X Factor hopeful went on to become one of the most famous young men in the world. Granted, he was one of the five One Directioners who took the teen world by storm, but as an individual he was definitely the most sought-after with fashion houses such as Burberry calling on him long before there was talk of a hiatus for the group.

Harry Styles has been a busy man over the last year. After leaving the band he went straight into his first ever serious acting role – in the historical war epic Dunkirk  directed by the highly acclaimed Christopher Nolan. Not only that, but he launches his first ever full-length solo album – just long enough to allow his hair to grow back, as some have joked.

Fun jibes aside, this is a coming-of-age project that alludes to a more jaded individual than his poppy boy group days. The first single – Sign of the Times – is a dirge-like song with a chorus that could have been written by the pop-convert Taylor Swift, but holds a Southern Rock style that sets it apart. Check it out below:

 

Weeks before the album launch, however, controversy has already hit the project – with many saying his second single Sweet Creature is too similar to The Beatles’ Blackbird. It is very hard to find anything different in the lead instrumentation and the chord structure is only marginally different. The lyrics are good enough to hold their own, but it is unfortunate that it was one of his pre-launched singles. Maybe judge it for yourself:

 

It is his SNL performance of Ever Since New York that shapes Styles’ maturity. The songs Americana edge could have been performed by The Eagles without anyone batting an eyelid. This lazy rock-like ease is pulling attention to a genre that has recently been reserved to the forty-somethings whose youths were shaped by Brian Adams. But now a whole new lease of life could be brought to the guitar-heavy idiom – that’s if Harry’s stardom is strong enough to draw the diehard fans into such a different style. In many circles, I think he could simple sneeze and get a standing ovation – so it shouldn’t be much of a problem.

 

In a world scared to let go of a good thing, Harry has reinvented himself rather successfully – and people are still listening. It will be interesting to see how this album fares. If it does as well as he hopes, he could just be a heavyweight industry player that changes the game.

Let’s face it

Everyone has issues. Everyone has blind spots. Sometimes it takes people close to you to point those things out. It’s never easy to face your imperfections and dysfunctions, but in many ways that is the only true way of growing and maturing. I have learnt many times that there will never be a season where you have ‘arrived’ when it comes to your soul.

In the Bible, there is a parable that Jesus spoke about judging others for their dysfunction, while ignoring your own. It talks about you being concerned about the speck in someone else’s eye while you have a log in your own. I have recently been reminded about how important it is to face your own issues – to actively turn your attention on to yourself.

In this age it is easier than ever to live completely oblivious. We can be clueless when it comes to the state of our souls and our impact on those around us. The distractions online, the endless availability of entertainment, the access to indulgences that numb our problems are not helping. Since there are so many stimuli, we live as souls that are receptive to everything around us – which in turn can make us victims of our surroundings. I have found myself trapped in the slippery perception of others, in the seductive claws of alternative realities and in the sweeping instances of ‘how things make me feel’.

But we were not made to only be influenced. We were made with the intention of making an impact – and that requires us to look ourselves in the face and honestly take stock of our own state. No one can lie to you like you can lie to yourself. It’s time to lock in and analyze yourself without excuses. It’s time for a clear understanding of who we are.

There is another instance in the Bible where God is said to have spoken face to face with Moses. It is a term of intimacy. If you think of it – how often to do look directly at someone when talking to them. There is a nakedness to that moment that cannot be avoided. I believe that kind of intimacy is required with not only yourself, but with God.

One of the truest sayings I have ever heard is:

“You cannot change what you won’t first acknowledge.”

Once you are willing to see your dysfunction, you will be able to honestly bring all your emotions and frustrations to God – unmasked and honest. He is not worried about your imperfections. He is not intimidated by your mistakes and your sins. He already knows all of them and loves you anyway.

Don’t let guilt or shame make you turn your face away from God. His gaze is fixed – you are eternally seen by Him. If you want to know Him personally, click on the link below. Nothing will give you hope like this decision could.

13 Reasons Why

If you follow Selena Gomez online, or are in any way remotely connected to Netflix, I am sure you have heard of this new teen drama mini-series. In recent weeks it has become one of the most talked about shows – mainly due to its controversial content. There have been as many fans as there are detractors. All around a topic that is as serious as it seems dangerous – teen suicide.

If you haven’t been able to see what it’s about – here’s the lowdown:

 

The narrative revolves around Hannah Baker – a teenager who commits suicide. She records the reasons why she chose to do so on six tapes and then arranges for them to be sent to the respective people responsible. When the audience drops in, Clay (the closest thing to a protagonist) has just received them – but he is the 11th reason. Each episode represents one side of the tape and one ‘reason’.

Straight up – the first thing to make clear is that this high school world is very real and extremely honest. Imagine a version of Glee without the tongue-in-cheek satire and singing, or Pretty Little Liars without the stylized drama. 13 Reasons Why is gritty and very very real. Swearing, bullying, minimal nudity, drug abuse, alcohol abuse and physical abuse are all starkly present – there is no ‘sheen’ or apologetic stance towards portraying what is unfortunately an accurate state of high schools these days.

But none of the above comes close to the harrowing reality of rape and suicide that unfolds as the tapes are played. This series looks both of these terrible subjects straight in the face – intentionally making the audience uncomfortable. It is impossible to watch this series without being forced to deal with the upsetting realities that many have gone through on some level.

It is important for people to know that this show is harrowing, but still important. For those that are not aware of the state of the millennial teenage struggle, I would go as far as to say it is vital – as it puts names and faces to statistics that shock people but change nothing (suicide is now the second biggest killer of teens in North America).

On the other hand, I do understand those who say that the show is dangerous for teens themselves as well – specifically those who are actually facing the atrocities that are portrayed from episode 9 onwards. The goal for the series was to raise awareness and to also let those struggling with depression and survivors of abuse know that they are not alone. Whether these objectives are met is not as clear as it should be.

Where the lines start blurring, I believe, is the soundtrack. As the show still needs to appeal to the teen audience, there is a varied array of indie and alternative songs that would be considered extraordinary. But coupled with the sensitive subject matter, there is a clumsy insensitivity that left me confused. Granted, there is a balance that needs to be struck between the subject matter and the momentum of the narrative, but I feel there could have been a more critical approach to the key moments within the story.

In the ‘Behind the Reasons’ segment at the end of the series, the original intent of the story is reinforced brilliantly – explaining many of the choices that they made cinematically. When it comes to suicide, there was an intentional focus on the fact that it is by no means pretty and affects everyone around you. In many ways, that 25 minute documentary does save the whole show.

I would definitely recommend it as ‘supervised viewing’ for teenagers. Parents will glean a considerable amount of insight into how different it is to grow up in this age of technology as well.

I don’t believe there is ever a time when hard topics should be avoided – especially when it comes to identity and life or death. If you are currently feeling isolated or bullied – I want to encourage you that you are not alone, and there is a better future ahead. I know first-hand what it’s like. The thing that saved me was talking to others – to people outside of my situation who genuinely cared. That might seem intimidating or there might not be any people like that in your life. In that case, you can click on the link below – there is a message about how much God cares for you and people who would love to get in contact with you to help you move forwards. You are not alone.

 

 

 

What is your anchor?

Life can be hard. Sometimes it completely sucks. There are unavoidable storms to navigate – both externally and internally – and it is very easy to be pulled off course by those trials. In many ways, those are the times where we truly find out who we are – what we are really made of. No one knows if they have determination until it is tested. No one knows their own strength – not until you push the limits on what you consider ‘bearable’. We were made to stand the test of time. But in the world of fleeting moments lived out in one reality and then translated onto another (that of social media and online content), it is hard to find your feet sometimes in the mix of emotions and opinions.

That is where I have found that I need an anchor. When things get hard, everything within me wants to up and run – to do my best to try flee the struggle. But avoiding the hard things will result in a life that is aimless and negative in impact. Nothing of value can be built without a foundation. No journey can be sailed without the use of an anchor to keep you on course.

I believe God is the ultimate anchor – the most reliable strength for staying power. In the Bible, it talks about how God has never changed and never will – and as we cling to that very aspect of His nature, we find hope.

I don’t know about you, but the first thing that seems to leave when things start getting tough is any sense of hope. The more the problem starts beating down on you, the harder it is to see the end of the struggle. But that’s where God is offering a hope that cannot be shaken. He is literally saying, “I won’t change – even though everything else is shifting at the moment. Hang on to me and I will keep you afloat and on course.” Now that doesn’t mean it won’t be hard. It doesn’t mean there will times when you think you will drown or go down. It does mean you will come out whole – not shipwrecked on the shores of despair.

There are a few things about an anchor that I have found important:

When anchors work, they are unseen

If you can see the anchor of a ship, it is not doing what it was made to do. When the seas get rough, or you are required to stop and rest – the anchor is deep in the water. In the same way, I have found that the success of your anchor is only seen once the storm has died down. No one else may know what’s going on. They might not understand or even think of what is happening beneath the surface. But being with God – connecting with Him in the quiet, unseen places will give you the strength to stay on course.

Anchors don’t change the intensity, the add to it

You will still get assailed by your circumstances. In many ways being anchored will mean there will be more resistance against the winds of opinion and the tides of your emotions. There will be tension that will pull you in all directions. You will be weathered if you choose to drop your anchor. But you will come out stronger and proven – able to lift anchor and continue on your charted course once it all is over.

Anchors can help steer your course

One of the most dramatic ways to change direction is by dropping your anchor. It immediately allows you to harness your momentum and then steer yourself at a rather sharp angle. Hope in God can do that too. You might see the trajectory of your life right now and be seriously concerned about where you are heading. Maybe things in life have set you adrift and you feel like there is no clear direction. I want to encourage you to connect with the God who made your life and is beckoning you towards the greatest life you could ever have.

Right now you could ‘drop’ anchor and change the direction of your life. You could find a hope that is unshakeable and a purpose that is worth holding on for. If you would like to know how to make this redirection possible, click on the link below.

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