Sometimes we go through seasons where we feel like we aren’t quite connecting with others. Maybe we feel unnoticed, or a bit invisible and disconnected. Often, we then retract and watch on the sidelines, not really participating and being apart of it all. Whilst we sit on the outskirts we can’t help but notice how everyone seems to be having a good time, laughing, and connecting together. In those times of window shopping through life you can’t help but feel excluded, like you’re not quite making the cut.

Have any of you ever felt like? I know I have, and it is such a lie!

Lies of the enemy

Recently, I went through a very short, rather abrupt season where I felt like I wasn’t connecting with anyone. I felt disconnected, excluded, and not welcomed. However, those were my insecurities and irrational fears playing silly tricks on me. My fractured thoughts were causing me to feel insecure, lonely and invisible. I felt so hurt and vulnerable in this mini season, that I called out to God in frustration and said: “What is going on? Why am I thinking these thoughts? Are these thoughts true or false?”

Of course, I knew that it wasn’t true, and even if it was, it actually didn’t really matter – because I shouldn’t find my confidence in those areas. My confidence comes from knowing who I am in God, and who He has called me to be. If God loves me – flaws and all – then the right people will too, and that matters! The enemy (the devil) ¬†wants us to believe otherwise, he wants us to constantly doubt ourselves and he wants us to feel lonely, disjointed, and broken. He thrives on our brokenness. Knowing that is enough motivation for me to push through those lies until I find my truth in what God says about me. That is where our freedom lies, in God’s truth. Get to know God’s truth, by reading the bible, and by praying and talking things through with Him daily. Your confidence and identity comes from knowing how loved you are by Him.

Be different – Be you
  • Even if you don’t fit in – see that as a good thing – that means you are different and unique. Why waste time trying to fit in, when you can just be you, and have even more fun doing so. Find your confidence and identity in God, and celebrate it – do not shy away or hide who you are.
Invest in healthy friendships
  • If you feel insecure, like you are invisible, and not worthy of connecting with others – then may I remind you that are not meant to do life alone. Find those special people who get you and love you, and invest in those friendships. Friends keep us accountable, and encourage us through the different seasons of life. We are not meant to live life feeling lonely and miserable.
Be inclusive
  • If you feel excluded by others – then use that as a motivation to make others, who may feel new, disconnected, or excluded, feel like they belong and like they are visible and cared for!
  • Sometimes people form cliques without realizing it, and somehow forget to be inclusive. Instead of taking it personally, rather become more aware of others who may feel excluded and make them feel included.

Step into the light

Don’t let the enemy force you to shy away from taking part in life. You are worthy of friendships, and you are most certainly worthy of being noticed, loved, and cared for by others. Start to see yourself the way God sees you: as dearly loved, beautifully made and although flawed, still a masterpiece in the making. Don’t hide in the darkness out of fear, rather step into the light, and be a light to others!

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