There is so much pressure today on parents to provide for their children, to give them a good home environment, provide for their needs, set them up for success, and teach them how to be productive members of society. The list goes on and on. Sometimes, it’s just plain overwhelming.
As a mother of a teenager, a pre-teen and soon to be newborn, I sometimes have a hard time keeping up with all my children need from me. If I’m not careful, it doesn’t take long for me to feel like I am under-performing, under-providing and under-equipping them.
What about you? How do you feel like you are measuring up under the pressure? Doesn’t it feel like there isn’t ever enough time, enough money, or enough of you to go around?
But then it hit me one day. My family doesn’t really need all those things from me. Yes, material things are nice and make our lives comfortable, but there a few things they need that are much more important.
1. Your family needs your love: In a world that is performance driven, it’s easy to fall into the performance trap. Your family needs to know that you love them unconditionally. Not because of what they do, or how they behave, but actually in spite of that. Your family need to know that even on their worst day, you will still love them. Not because of what they have done or didn’t do, but simply because they are yours. You should be the safe place they can turn to where they know they are loved, accepted, and celebrated.
2. Your family needs you: Hear me now: They don’t need your money, or your connections, or fancy holidays, or expensive clothes. They just need you – there, present, engaged, and interested in their lives. In a world where they are fighting for attention and approval, our families need to know they can count on us to listen to them, be interested in what’s happening in their world, and be there without always trying to offer advice or correct them in some way. Just be; just be together; just be there. That’s what they really need.
So the next time you feel the pressure to be everything and do everything for your family, take a minute and realise that you loving them and you being present in their lives will mean more than anything money can buy.
God offers this same unconditional love and acceptance to us and wants to be involved in our everyday lives.