There are a lot of people in the world and a large percentage of them are looking for ‘Mr or Miss Right’. It’s a lovely thought that there is someone out there who is perfect for you and I’d be willing to bet that if you’re still looking for that special person you possibly have a list of ideals. Depending on taste it could read something like, tall, dark and handsome maybe or blonde with a lovely smile. What about a great sense of humour, good with kids, successful career, considerate, athletic and lovely to look at? The possibilities could be endless and, to be honest, these ‘must haves’ tend to read more like a Christmas wish list than an actual description of a real life person.
Fantasy is wonderful and dreaming up the perfect partner can be fun, but the truth is that very often what we think is perfect, isn’t actually what we should be seeking. The problem with looking for the perfect partner is that perfect doesn’t exist. Just as you and I are flawed, have morning breath on occasions, are subject to bad moods at times and fail to float 2 foot off the ground, the person who you would like to form a relationship with also has limitations. Very often when we’re single we are looking for the Hollywood ideal but forget that we happen to be the person next door (and that the Hollywood ideal is also the person next door, just with a stylist and fitness trainer)
Work in progress
Have you ever heard a single person (maybe you’ve even said it yourself) say that, “all the good ones are taken?” What they are saying is that any person they would consider being in a relationship with, is already in a relationship with someone else. What they fail to realise is that the wonderful things they see in the people who are already taken have probably been highlighted or encouraged by the person they are romantically attached to. Relationships change people; when you start dating or get married you don’t start out with the finished version of the person. Being part of a couple should draw out the best parts of who you are and round you out; so the trick is to be able to look a little deeper and see the treasure that will be revealed as you grow as a pair.
Digging for gold
Finding someone who you can build a meaningful and hopefully lasting relationship is less about fulfilling an ideal shopping list of characteristics and more about discovering a person who bring out something in you that no one else does and who likewise you bring out the unique best.
Maybe it’s time to put aside the lists and the ‘must haves’ and to have a slightly different perspective. A hunt for perfection will always leave you critical and alone but finding the gold in someone will show you that reality can be far better than a perfect dream.