There’s nothing in this world easier than finding someone or something to blame when things go wrong. The emotionally distant man chooses to blame his parents who never hugged him enough; the soccer fan chooses to blame the coach who should have substituted this striker with the other one; and, in case you thought you’d escaped this, I’m talking to you too Africa. For how long will we blame colonialism for all our ills? We’ll talk about that subject on another day. It deserves its own post.
I don’t dispute that very terrible things happen to us in life. Nor do I dispute that those things can befall us not because we have done anything wrong but because someone else has decided, for whatever reason, to do them to us. But more and more, I have come to realize that the people we spend our time blaming and being bitter towards are getting on with their lives, being productive and focused on doing what they need to be doing. If that’s the case, why bother blaming then? Here’s a short but very informative video from Dr. Brene Brown on why we should stop blaming others:
I recently came across something that put things into perspective for me when it comes to the issue of blame. Many people give excuses for why they do not progress and blame circumstances for why they don’t do the right thing. But, while that is going on, there is always someone somewhere else who is in a far worse situation but who makes a decision to take responsibility and do the right thing. It’s all a matter of our attitude towards the things that happen to us. Think about it. There are countless people who have gone through shocking adversity but have bounced back to reach heights that they themselves never would have imagined!
If this post resonates with you and you identify yourself as a ‘blamer’, it’s worth considering that there is a deeper, spiritual reason for us doing all the things we do – whether good or bad. Perhaps, we adopt certain attitudes to mask a deeper emptiness we may feel inside of us. A genuine relationship with God is the ultimate cure for all the emptiness that causes us to resort to blaming, projecting our own failings on others and all the various other defence mechanisms we resort to in order to survive life in this crazy world. If you’d like to hear about how you can make this connection, please click on the banner below.