So finally after a few dates, you think you have found Mr Right. Someone, who you think you could possibly settle down with or possibly see yourself walking down the aisle towards them, with a happily ever after. Then, as the days and weeks go by, possibly months, you start noticing these little internal red flags. That almost cause you to pause for a moment and go: “Hmm, that doesn’t feel right.”
Perhaps, we overlook those little warning signs, and shrug them off as nerves or as silly insecurities. When in actual fact they are legitimate warning signals alerting us that something is not right, and that something is off about this person we are now dating. If you let a warning sign go unnoticed, or you simply shrug it off and ignore it, it can make things a little trickier and hard to call off later down the line.
I once dated someone (many moons ago) who I ignored and shrugged off all of his character flaws (everything from emotional abusive and manipulation, through to being possessive and controlling) as me being insecure or silly. However, I was silencing my gut instincts and intuition when it came to this other person’s unhealthy character flaws, so much so, that it really damaged me mentally and emotionally for quite some time. Because I let it go on for so long, it made it harder to break off that relationship. If I had followed through on my earlier warning signs and internal red flags that kept popping up, I think that I would have made very different life choices earlier on, as opposed to later. However, I have learnt from that, and I am now here to share with you from that personal experience when it comes to listening closely to those little nudgings and internal warning bells!
Relationship red flags and deal breakers
Pause for a moment in your relationship and really look at the following below and see if any of it rings true for you. Ask yourself if you and your partner are well suited together, and are on the same page when it comes to where you are heading. Never settle for a relationship because you feel lonely, or fear being alone one day. Trust your gut instincts, ask the tough questions, and fight for what you believe you deserve – which is the very best of course!
- They put way too much unnecessary pressure on you.
- They are emotionally manipulative and often guilt you into doing things.
- Their behavior is rather controlling and possessive towards you.
- They speak down on you, and publicly humiliate you.
- They do not value, or respect your opinions or feelings.
- They refuse to compromise on anything.
- They are not supportive.
- They are selfish, and not willing to grow in this area.
- They do not have the same faith or belief system as you.
- They are often caught lying, and they constantly hide things from you or twist the truth.
- They have very different views and thoughts when it comes to marriage and a family.
- They do not want to commit to you long-term.
Not everyone is perfect, or is expected to perfect. We are human after all, therefore, people will make honest mistakes without the intention of hurting us. The concern is when their actions are deliberate, and intentional, and they are not willing to grow or compromise to the detriment of your relationship and of themselves. Guard your heart, listen to it, ask those hard questions and never be afraid to settle. If you are thinking of long-term or marriage when it comes to relationships, use wisdom.