It’s too darn easy. Swipe left, swipe right; meh, don’t like his hair. Don’t like her teeth.
“I’m not into rugby guys.”
“I’m not into girls that looks like dolls.”
Swipe left; swipe right.
What happened to someone standing in your living room, palms sweating and heart racing because they had waited 2 months to ask you out?
Let’s face it, the dating world today isn’t what it used to be. With all the social networking and online dating sites out there, finding a partner has become too easy. So, instead of putting in the time effort and work it takes to make a relationship work. We opt out and go for the next hit of instant gratification. Try someone else instead. Surely, this is the one?
This easy access to potential is not good for us. Instead of taking the time to get to know someone and give them a chance, it’s far easier to write someone off and go in search of another. The apps give us the illusion of endless choice, so we don’t always recognise when we’ve got someone great sitting in front of us.
Finding someone isn’t supposed to be easy
So many times I hear people decide they aren’t into someone they are chatting with before they have even met them!! This baffles me. How can you decide someone is too immature when you haven’t had the maturity to sit down opposite them and find out a bit about their history. How can you decide you don’t like their looks when you haven’t met the person inside the looks and yes, personality does matter.
You have to take the time to get to know someone if you want a life partner. You have to give them a shot. You have to find out more than their name and 5 photos. You have to realise that this is a person, not a disposable doll on the other side of a conversation. It’s not supposed to be easy.
There is no “right” person
You will never find someone who is a 100% right match for you. It’s impossible. It can’t happen. It won’t happen. What you will find is a collection of people who could work with you. Then you make a choice as to the one you think you like and put in time, communication and effort.
Long term compatibility is a result of work and change, not a result of two default personalities made for each other.
You will have to change
You can’t date someone and remain unchanged. If you do, you probably aren’t growing closer to that other person. As people in a close relationships, we become similar to each other – not in ways which make us lose who we are but rather in a way which draws us closer to another human being.
If you aren’t willing to change some things about your self to be in a relationship, then you are going to find it hard to keep one. Swiping left and right doesn’t make us change. It doesn’t require any compromise from us and hence why we select to keep doing it, instead of going for the real thing.
Don’t lower your standards
Just because some people are swiping around and treating people like they are easy to come by, doesn’t mean everyone is like that. Don’t lower your standards. Don’t compromise your happiness because you are fed up and tired of the easy come, easy go culture. There are people out there who will put in the time and effort.
Don’t be tricked by the endless supply of left and right swipes. When you have someone who is legitimate, caring, shares your values, and who you are attracted to – go for it! Put in the time and work to turn it into something great. It’s not how you met which matters, rather it’s what you do with the potential once you have met.