It’s hard to always feel confident and secure when it comes to parenting. Parenting has a way of making you feel more self-conscious and vulnerable, if not just plain insecure. The reason is that life isn’t just about you anymore, it’s about the well-being, shaping, guiding and leading of our little people. Parenting has an interesting way of exposing our own insecurities, which in turn can either positively, or negatively influence the way we lead and parent within our family. We are so quick to focus on our shortcomings as parents, that we overlook all the good that we do bring to the table.
The lies we believe as parents
Here are a few not-so-little lies that we tend to believe as parents. These lies often have a way of making us feel like we are failing, and they often causes us to doubt who we are as parents. Don’t let these lies control or deceive you any longer.
Other parents are doing a better job than me
- Often when we feel overwhelmed, exhausted and simply look like a mess most days whilst dropping our kids off at school, we tend to notice the other moms in the parking lot that look in control and may feel like they look like they have it all together. We may make false assumptions by comparing ourselves to other parents, when in actual fact we don’t really know what is going on behind the scenes. There is no perfect parent, or perfect family – that is not real life!
I’m a failure as a parent
- There will be days where we either rock at parenting or we completely mess up and make mistakes. It’s normal, because we are human. Again, there is no perfect parent, just humans learning as we navigate through life. Mistakes help us to grow, therefore, do not wallow in despair when you make a mistake. Keep going, learn from mistakes and move forward with your head held high.
Who I am, and what I provide for my family is not good enough
- Again, there is no perfect parent. Yet, we constantly put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be perfect and provide some sort of perfect ideal to our family. When in actual fact, who we are is who they need. The best things we could do for our children is to work on our weak areas, be real and honest with who we are as people. Be confident in who you are, and celebrate that with your children. Remember that your best (in who you are and what your provide) is enough for them.
It’s my fault if my child fails
- I think as parents we want our children to always succeed at whatever they put their minds too. We cannot bear the heartache of knowing that our children feel heartbroken or disheartened due to making a mistake or failing at something. Yet, we forget that as much as we can lovingly prepare or try to even prevent disappointing moments for our children – that it will happen, and that it’s a learning curve that they need to experience and learn from. Their mistakes or failings do not reflect on us, we should encourage them to see mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow from, rather than seeing it as something that could negatively define or impact them going forward.
Money will fix everything
- Money could make life easier, more comfortable, but it will never substitute or have a long-lasting impact like love, and quality time spent together as family engaging with one another. Our children won’t look back thinking “Ah mom and dad, why didn’t you buy me more things?” They will remember how we made them felt, every single day in our care.
As parents we are quick to come down hard on ourselves, and we forget to celebrate and focus on all the good that we do, and provide for our family. Acknowledge and celebrate whenever you note or realise that you are trying your best, and that who you are and what you do is exactly what your family needs.
There are no perfect parents, and there are no perfect children, but there are perfect moments along the way. – Dave Willis