Should I wait to have sex?

So you may be in a relationship and are weighing up your decision to have sex now or wait until you’re married. Or maybe you’re single now and wonder how you will ever be able to wait until marriage. You are not alone!

I think these questions – “Should I wait?”, “How do I wait?”, “How far is too far?” – are big ones that many people are wrestling with. Last week we looked at why we should wait to have sex until we are married. But deciding to wait until marriage and actually making it to your wedding night without regret and disappointment are two very different things.

Here are a couple of practical steps to help you keep your relationship pure:

  1. It starts in your mind: No one just falls into bed together. It starts long before that. It starts with a thought that leads to action. So, keep your mind clean. If you catch yourself starting to think about sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend, switch gears. Maybe go for a walk, put on some worship music, read your Bible or call a friend who can keep you accountable.
  2. Set clear boundaries: Have the conversation with your partner, and decide on some strong, clear boundaries. For example, no lying down together; keep room doors open; don’t be home alone; don’t pull off into an isolated place; hands stay above the neck at all times. It might seem silly at first, but if you draw up good boundaries and stick to them, you will succeed in keeping sex for your marriage.

One of the most frequently asked questions from young people regarding this is “How far is too far?” Well, the best way I have found to explain the answer is this: You can go as far as you would go if one of your parents was sitting on the couch with you.

If you use that as a guideline, you will stay far away from sexual activity in your relationship and you will be so glad you did when you stand before your husband or wife on your wedding day.

Just remember, your current boyfriend or girlfriend is potentially someone else’s husband or wife; they are some little child’s father or mother. So treat them accordingly!

No matter how much you may have missed the mark on this in the past, you can start afresh today. Start by asking Jesus to help you make great decisions and stick to them.

To find out more about a real relationship with Jesus Christ, click on the pop-up or on the link below.

Questions or comments? We’d love to hear what you think.

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