You may have clicked on this link expecting a step-by-step guide to being recognised and impressing people. You may be in a place where you feel like you have been overlooked and want recognition. You may have struggled with acceptance your whole life and would really appreciate it if you knew just one person saw you.
All I can say is: I can relate. Growing up, that was my greatest inner issue. As a child I dealt with a few more factors than most. I was blessed enough to have amazing, crazy, faith-filled parents who were honest and extremely intuitive. I was exposed to a whole lot of amazing opportunities – by the age of twelve I had lived with the local people of China, Madagascar, Zimbabwe, Botswana, Canada, the UK and even toured Eastern Europe. I saw the world, but more importantly, I got to know the people. So coming home was always hard. Coming home as a young child and going back to school, I was thrown back into a group of friends that were all familiar with their view of the world, totally oblivious to how vastly different other people live and think. No one understood my difference, which meant that I was very excluded socially, even though my approach to life was so inclusive.
The thing is, not being seen is fundamentally not a fault of your own. It is other peoples’ inability to recognise who you are. Small mindsets and selfish lifestyles result in people missing the most amazing opportunities – one of which is to get to know you. If you can genuinely shift your thinking from “not being noticed” to “they are missing out”, then you can live healthy and enjoy life without anyone else’s permission.
Growing up, I also had an amazingly strong mother who woke up every day deciding to take on her disability and give me the best childhood she could. My mom is legally blind, which meant that as the eldest child, I took on the role to help and think of others before myself. Even though it was not my place, I took on the responsibility of looking after my mom when Dad was not around. So anything I struggled with would be secondary, until it all became too much and I would freak out emotionally. That would either be through random outbursts of frustration, levels of depression or even rage. All of that stemmed from people not understanding what we were living with.
When your life requires a higher level of intentionality; when you know you’re called to something big and are committed to the sacrifices even when no one is watching; when there is no pat on the back for the private victories you have won, there may be a level of frustration. All of us want to be seen. All of us want to be encouraged. All of us want to know that we are okay. But I have finally found out how this works. The only way we can truly be seen is related directly to how much you are willing to see others.
First, see God. Looking to God – who he is, what he says and what he does – you will realise that you are so much more than seen. You are celebrated and treasured. You may not think you deserve it. Through the shame and condemnation of addiction, I spent a whole lot of my life not wanting to be seen. But shame and condemnation are not from God. He has dealt with your sin and got it out of the way so that we can see Him and His love can change us.
Once you have seen God, you can also begin to see others. I have had three key people in my life who went out of their way to let me know that they see me – where I am at and what my journey is. When I knew God knew all I was going through and was encouraged by some people who I respected deeply, I was able to see others. I could identify and encourage people like me. The moment other people realised that I “saw” them and that ultimately God did too, I also found a whole new level of fulfilment and confidence.
If you are searching to be seen, I want to encourage you to search for God. The moment you see Him, you will realise that he has been watching with intent your whole life. Click below to find out more.