I have a mother, a sister and a girlfriend. All of them are absolutely heaven-sent awesome. But in conversations and after a few awkward experiences of my own, I have been completely amazed by how different guys are from girls. So, out of genuine concern, I thought it would be a good idea to write a letter – from a recently taken guy.
Dear Single Girl
Firstly, I need to confess that I have no idea what it’s like to be you. I am not writing this to preach. I am not claiming to know all the factors that make up how you think, act and feel. The world would be a very boring and ugly place without women. So thank you for being one of them!
Starting off, I want to let you know that you are enough. I am sorry if others have not made you feel this way, but I am very confident that ‘who you are’ is an asset to any environment. Comparison is useless. You do not compare to anything else on earth. You as your own person is the best thing for where you are. You do not have to prove yourself in any way.
Please be proud of your uniqueness. Guys can see if you are trying to be something you are not. Unfortunately, some will reward that kind of behaviour, but they do not deserve any version of you if that is the case.
There is more than one guy on earth. You may find a guy you really like. You may even receive some hints that he may be interested, but running ahead with your imagination can be extremely harmful for you. And – I can speak from experience – extremely awkward for the guy you believe is ‘the one’. He may be kind, enthusiastic and thoughtful around you, but he could be the same with everyone. A real man will initiate a relationship clearly. If he hasn’t done that yet, guard your heart and keep your eyes on the horizon. It’s really good to take note of what you like about a guy you’re attracted to. It will probably help you identify the man who you will end up marrying.
Set your standards high. But don’t have a ‘type’. Some of the men around you may not have blonde hair, the right kind of jawline or an impressive job, but they could probably make you happier than any mental ‘pin-up’ you have in mind. Sometimes when you find the guy you envision, you can start making ‘concessions’ instead of holding your standards. Just because he looks a certain way does not mean he can degrade your self-esteem. Just because he plays a certain sport, or drives a certain car does not mean you have to change a single thing about you. If you ever feel pressure to change who you are, he is not worth the light of day (or the dark of night).
Have fun! Being single is definitely an awesome opportunity to do everything you want to do. Independence and self-confidence are very attractive to us guys. In fact, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who is owning in life – living to the fullest, taking risks, laughing and achieving all they have set their minds on. If a guy is intimidated by anything that is not your beauty, he is not the guy for you. Your beauty will always be terrifying to guys. Make sure they earn your attention.
You may feel like you’re running out of time. You may be extremely scared about ending up alone. But please don’t wait for a man. Live. Live outrageously big lives! Time is an opportunity to grow yourself and get ready for your future. In many ways, ageing only becomes a concern if you are not engaged in life. Your equal is out there. The friend to your future is coming. I hope he is ready to celebrate all that you are!
A Concerned Guy
If you find you are at a loss when it comes to who you are. If you struggle to even conceive what it is like to be confident and comfortable as a single person. If you are struggling to find your feet after a bad breakup, or are in an unhealthy relationship that is eating away at you. You need God. He is the only answer I can point you to. The most attractive thing a woman can do is be in a vibrant relationship with their Heavenly Father. If you want to know a Man that will never drop you – who will affirm you and encourage you, amuse and bless you – please click on the link below.
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