Have you ever found yourself stuck in a conversation whereby a person has completely hijacked the convo by talking, and talking, and talking some more. Every time you change the topic, it somehow bounces back to them and becomes about them. You then leave the conversation feeling more drained than refreshed – because for the last hour or so you’ve only heard their voice and their stories?
Or maybe you’re that person that LOVES to talk and does not like quieter moments. Somehow you always feels the need to share, fill the silence with your voice and with your stories. Conversation hijackers aren’t fun people to relate with, or to hang out with, because it will always be about them, and not about you. But we are here to learn and encourage one another to be better versions of ourselves – so let’s try to fix this issue together shall we?
When we take over a conversation, or make every story about our own experience – we are actually stealing from what others are trying to say and feel by bringing the attention back to us. It’s one thing to empathise and relate with somebody else, but it’s a whole other story when it becomes your personal life story 24 -7. It then starts to sound like you are in love with the sound of your own voice, as you’re not letting anyone else speak or get a word in.
KEEP THAT MOUTH SHUT
Sometimes we mean well when we share our stories with others, especially if we are trying to relate to them by sharing a familiar story. But we forget that sometimes we don’t always have to say something, and be a gap filler. Sometimes, we need to let people have their moment, let them talk, let them breathe and feel safe in that moment.
The best thing we can do sometimes: is to sit, be quiet, listen and show support and understanding. You don’t need to always find a story in your memory bank, and try to use it in a relatable way. If someone is confiding in you, looking for empathy, advice, or is just simply telling you about their day – let them have their moment. Sharing is caring after all!
DEAR CONVERSATION HIJACKER
- It’s okay to be quiet.
- It’s okay not to have an answer, and opinion about EVERYTHING all of the time.
- It’s okay when things get quiet in a crowd.
- It’s okay, if not amazing, to just be there and to listen to a friend in need.
- It’s okay to hold those lips together and rest that gorgeous voice of yours. (You will survive , I promise)
Trust me, you will be okay, voice or no voice. Find the balance, and learn to read the people you’re with. Read the conversation and know when it’s time to talk, and if what you are going to say is going to take the conversation forward, or if it’s just going to be another story about yourself.
Please note: I am not telling you to be a mime artist and to never speak again, but remember to take turns in conversations, and give others chance to share. I think that this is an area that we can all work on, to be better friends, by being good listeners. Try it out this week, and let me know how it goes – remember “sharing is caring”.