Loss, in any form, is painful. The grief that comes with sickness, death and crisis can feel suffocating. It’s sometimes hard to know how to deal with the emotional turmoil. Coping with grief can also be a very lonely experience because everyone deals with pain in their own way and at their own pace.
One step at a time
It’s difficult to know before the event how each individual will cope when faced with devastating and life changing circumstances but there are several stages to the grieving process that seem to occur in many cases. In the 1960’s a psychiatrist working with patients with terminal cancer outlined five stages of grief that are commonly experienced by those faced with tragedy or loss. These stages are:
- Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”
- Anger: “Why is this happening?” “Who can I blame?”
- Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”
- Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”
- Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what has happened.”
Not everyone dealing with tragic circumstances will experience all of these emotions (or follow this specific order) but these are some of the common responses during the grieving process. However grief and loss affect you, and how ever long the process takes, it’s important to realise that while the loss will always be a part of your life in the future, the depth of the pain will reduce over time. It’s because of this that no matter how hard life may feel while you are grieving; there is still hope for the future.
If you are dealing with loss, or grieving in someway, here are a few things you should remember:
It’s okay to feel
Part of the grieving process is about accepting how you feel. There is no right or wrong way to deal with loss in life. You may feel angry, alone, sad or even numb and all of those things are okay. Finding someone to talk through your emotions with, or who will just listen to you may help you to process how you feel.
Be kind to yourself
When everything else seems like too much to cope with you are allowed to take a step back and just focus on looking after yourself. Going back to the basics of making sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating healthily and not trying to carry everything on our own can make all the difference to your well-being.
Ask for help
Picking up the pieces after a tragic event or facing loss can feel very isolating. Finding people who understand or who have gone through similar experiences can be a way to feel less alone. Sometimes even just having someone who you can talk to about the good memories or happier times can help you move forward.
The Bible tells us that Jesus came to earth so that He could comfort the broken-hearted and that God is near to everyone who grieves. During the darkest days of loss and pain, you are never alone. In another passage it says that while tears may last for a season, there will be a time again for laughter and joy. So as hard, and as bleak, as grief can be, if you allow yourself, over time your heart will heal.
If you are dealing with grief or if this post has spoken to you, please leave a comment or click on the link below.