Growing up I heard one central message – I had to get married, and more importantly, I had to marry someone who could take care of me. I don’t remember anyone ever going through financial planning skills with me or giving me advice on how I can make wise financial decisions. Somehow it seemed the only thing I really had to worry about is that I am desirable enough to attract the right kind of man – and by right, I mean one who is not poor.
So already I grew up with the following messages. Firstly, I wasn’t really expected to do anything significant. I was just going through education to buy time until I found the right partner. Secondly I had to get married – Don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing, well so I’m told, but my need for getting married wasn’t for love, it was to make sure that I had someone to take care of me. Thirdly, I had to make sure I ‘married well.’ – Yes, that’s the term that people have used to subtly advice me that my choice in a husband shouldn’t be dependent on his heart but on his pocket.
In a time where women seem to be getting married much later in life, this is probably the worst message they can grow up being taught. What happens if you get married at 35? Will you allow your life to waste away while waiting for prince charming to come to your rescue? What if you never get married? I know that people think this is the worst thing that can possibly happen to someone, but really, what if you don’t? Will you waste your life or will you all of a sudden go into a panic once you hit a certain age and start realizing that maybe you should actually do something with your life.
Here are 4 reasons why a husband is a really bad financial plan:
You waste your potential. If you believe that all you are good for is marriage, you won’t feel the need to invest in yourself; you waste your time, you waste your talents and you limit your potential.
You become desperate – If marriage is your financial/rescue plan, it ceases to be something you just desire, it becomes something you need because without it, your future isn’t secure.
You leave yourself vulnerable. I know many married women who are forced to stay with cheating and abusive husbands because they cannot afford to leave them. Having an education and pursuing your own goals and dreams empowers you and gives you choices.
You will be unfulfilled. We were all born with a need to do something significant; to live a life that is motivated by purpose. We pursue all the things we think will fulfill us, but once we attain them, we realize that they don’t bring the satisfaction that we hoped. A husband is not only a bad financial plan but also a bad life plan and will certainly not quench your desire to live on purpose.
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