Two days ago my good old faithful laptop decided permanently retire. I stood in the Mac Repair store where the post-mortem confirmed that it would not be pulling a ‘Lazarus’ and coming back to life. To be honest, it has been a very interesting experience. As a writer, composer and teacher, my laptop played an integral part of my life – not to forget all the Netflix and YouTube that would provide me with downtime entertainment. One of the biggest issues is that I have lost a considerable amount of original music projects and a few chapters of a book I was writing. But that considered there has been a weird ‘peace’ about life.
In the last two days, the world has seemed a whole lot more colourful. Time feels more laboured and slower than before. Yes, there have also been moments of frustration and desperation (I’m currently writing this on a friend’s laptop), but I have found that I was way more dependent on my computer than I really needed to be. Without a doubt it feels like I have lost a limb. It’s fair to say that there are ‘phantom itches’ where I am slowly realising what is not possible to do anymore. A personal computer is an item of convenience, not a basic need.
In many ways, it feels like life has just pushed a giant ‘reset’ button on my existence. And with that comes a whole host of new possibilities. There’s nothing more exciting than a clean slate. You can agonise without end about what you may have lost. You can wrestle with regret or frustration, but there is a better way to focus your energy: look at what is possible. Use the change of scenery to change your perspective on what you are doing. Questions like ‘what could life look like’ can take on a whole new level of significance now that you are no longer stuck in your normal.
Stepping up or stepping off?
It has been a sobering and refreshing experience to see how objects have defined my life. Now that things have changed, there is no use fighting it. My laptop was a gift that has blessed me for the last two years. I am grateful for that. But at the same time, I am also more determined than ever to work myself into a place where I can afford a new one. My choice is simply: do I become desperate or determined? Watch this space.
If you feel like you need a fresh start – if life is feeling stale and limiting, can I encourage you to look to something bigger than yourself? God is the master of ‘resetting’ our lives. He made you with intention and knows exactly how to lead you into a life that is as exciting as it is meaningful. You may also be overwhelmed by the situations life has cornered you into. In that case, God is the only way you can progress. The only reason I have peace is because I know God has got me – he knows what I need and will provide when it is the right time. Click on the link below if you want to know God personally.