Growing up, I was an interesting child.
Before interesting was cool and being unique was something you would advertise, I was that random kid who sits at home and prefers not to be around peers who would judge me or not understand me. Now before you think this is a pity party, I need to say that I was not in any a victim of intentional cruelty. Others just didn’t get who I was, which resulted in random forms of alienation.
If you were wondering, I turned out OK. Aside from a few awkward moments once in a while, I am thriving socially. But it took me a while to celebrate my differences instead of allowing others’ uniformity to get me down. We can look at solitude as a curse, but I believe it can be such a clarifying element to your life.
If I hadn’t had time alone, I would not be as imaginative as I am today. Creativity is a muscle. You can only achieve certain levels of success if you work towards it. As a child, I was able to entertain myself for hours making up stories, writing songs and designing things. If it weren’t for that time doing those things, I would not have been able to be in the roles I am in today. If you ever find yourself isolated, use the time to be creative. Just because today sucks doesn’t mean that your tomorrow has to. You can work towards a better future and invest the time now.
If I hadn’t had time alone, I would not have known who I really was. It’s important to realise that hard times expose who you are more than good times will. A clear understanding of who you are is important emotionally. When validation is not coming from those around you, you need to dig deeper. You need to be comfortable with yourself despite what others think. This is definitely not easy. And I would say impossible without having a relationship with God.
Being alone – being surrounded by silence – also honed my effectiveness in life. I believe silence is one of the most foreboding elements of life – like when the Japanese radio channels went silent right before Pearl Harbour. The thing is that when nothing is happening in your life, it is the best time to be precise. Silence can give you the upper hand in life – in relationships, in your character but especially in your effectiveness. If everything around you feels static, whatever you do is immediately proactive. Whatever you say is immediately calculated. You can cut a whole lot of the meaningless parts of life out and really focus on achieving things.
Now don’t get me wrong – I definitely am not wishing loneliness on anyone, but I can tell you that you will definitely feel lonely sometime in the future. All I want to say is that when you encounter loneliness – regardless of your character or temperament – you can use it to your advantage.
External loneliness is inevitable, but internal loneliness is a different story. When we have no one around, it actually reveals if we are alone internally or have the substance to weather that storm of silence. There is no better company than that of Jesus in your life. Adam was created by himself, but he was never truly alone. God did make Eve, remarking that ‘it wasn’t good for man to be alone’, but Adam himself had not realised it. God addressed external loneliness from a place of concern. We weren’t ever meant to live without God. His concern for you is constant and infinite at the same time. If you are wanting to address the inner loneliness you have, click on the link below.