Has the dating game, become just that –  a game? We live in a world where dating websites and dating apps help people find love by meeting a potential partner. These websites and apps try to connect you with someone according to your likes, interests, and characteristics, then you have the option of swipping “yes or no” from your phone and setting up a date. It’s like online shopping, but for dating, kinda like a game right? I get that it’s not always easy  to meet people in person, and I also know that some people have found true love via dating websites. I believe that love can be found in very interesting spaces and places. However, my concerns creep in  when love turns into a game, and people are treated like objects, or apps, and are tossed aside like yesterdays trash. Sounds a bit harsh but it happens all the time sadly.

THE DOWNSIDE OF DATING

Some people take dating seriously, and are so hoping to find love whilst others out there are dating  for very different reasons altogether: 

  • Dating for a quick fix.
  • Dating to fill a void.
  • Dating to feel reassured.
  • Dating to avoid feeling lonely.
  • Dating to get something out of it.

BEFORE DATING ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING

I think that it is always wise to take a moment and to ask yourself the following questions. As it’s good to  know and understand what propels and motivates us to do the things that we do. Before we embark on a journey of getting to know someone else romantically, we too need to know and understand ourselves, as well as know and understand the season we are in. Ask yourself the following, and be honest with yourself.

  • What do you want to get out of dating?
  • Are you wanting to find someone special?
  • Do you respect yourself enough to know what or who you deserve to have in your life?
  • Do you respect the opposite sex, or do you see it as a means to an end?

THE DATING GAME SURVIVAL GUIDE

Once you know and understand your motives behind dating, you will enter dating with a sense of wisdom and a deep sense of understanding of who you are and what it is that you are looking for. Therefore, you will respect your time, and the time of others, you will place value on yourself and on others. You will be open but at the same time use wisdom when it comes to pursuing someone. Therefore, it is always wise to embrace the following tips below whilst dating. 

  • Know your intentions and understand your sense of self-worth.
  • Know more or less what you are looking for in a potential partner, but at the same time be open to being surprised by someone.
  • Make sure that your head and heart is ready for dating.
  • Don’t lead anyone on.
  • Be clear and upfront with potential dating partners.
  • Be yourself, always.
  • Have fun, and enjoy getting to know new potential partners.
  • Take things slow – don’t whip out a ring on the first date.
  • Use wisdom when it comes to online dating, be aware of “cat-fishing” (people who fake their profiles and lie about who they are.)
  • Hang out a couple of times with potential partner in various settings.
  • Get to know potential partners personalities, passions and interests to see if your two worlds cohesively connect.
  • Let family and friends meet the potential partner especially if you’re thinking of making it more official – get their input and opinions.

LOVE IS ON THE WAY

Dating can be hard and daunting for some, whilst for others it’s easy and fun. Meeting new people and the right people is also another challenge in itself. Putting yourself out there, making yourself vulnerable, to experiencing rejection is hard. But believe me when I say, that your perfectly imperfect person is still out there! Do not give up. Do not settle! Do not let fear or insecurity propel you to play the field. Do not compromise, or force things to happen. Let relationships grow naturally, and let relationships surprise you.

Just know that you are worthy of love, do not lose heart, do not give up on love! 

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