Insecurity defined as:
Uncertain, anxious about oneself, lack of confidence.
Today we find ourselves living in a world, where we can easily lose our identity and self-worth, and we end up striving towards finding our sense of self-worth in the wrong things – from what we do, to what we look like, to who we know, to what we even own.
Everyone experiences insecurity from time to time, the danger is if we let insecurity define and shape our life. I used to feel inferior to others, I would compare myself to others and I would sometimes quit before ever trying. I let insecurity live in my heart, and I let it dictate how I lived, to how I behaved. Which was all a lie, because I had forgotten who I was, and who I was called to be!
If we entertain insecurity, and allow it to take root in our hearts it will negatively impact our lives, it will cause harm and hurt those around us.
SPOTTING INSECURITY IN OURSELVES AND IN OTHERS
- Insecure friends can either be really clingy.
- Insecure friends tend to speak negatively about some of your other friends, as a means of making themselves look good.
- Insecure friends can be manipulative – They may twist their words and play on your emotions as means of having a hold on you.
- They assume the worst of others, and often react out of emotions and feel justified when they behave poorly.
- They find great value in what they do, instead of in who they are.
- They get upset if someone around them gets promoted, or if something great happens to somebody else.
- They boast about their successes.
- They constantly compare themselves with others, and they subconsciously try to compete with you or with others.
INSECURITY – THE FRIENDSHIP KILLER
Do you know someone in your world, that constantly acts out of insecurity around you and it is starting to negatively impact your friendship? Is it getting to that stage, where you are finding that their insecurities are starting to kill the friendship? How do you move forward in this friendship with them? Do you cut them out of your life completely? Or do you confront them and work on it together?
DEALING WITH INSECURE FRIENDS
Decide
Decide if this friend is worth the frustration, and if you want them in your world long term. If you decide to have them in your world long term, then establish healthy boundaries that will protect both of you from hurting one another. At the end of the day you can decide what you allow to take place in your life.
If the friendship has become unhealthy, and it has become destructive and this friend does not want to grow in this area, then maybe it is time to end that friendship.
Be Wise
Maybe you see the potential in them, and you know that they are wanting to grow in this area, therefore you want to invest in this friendship. May I then urge you to use wisdom when you are with them. Guard your heart, and be careful with the things you trust them with.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” –
Proverbs 4:23
Confront
If a friend has pushed you too far or has even hurt you due to their insecurities. Then may I encourage you to confront them with love. I find that when we confront others in a loving way, they tend to be more open to hearing and learning from the situation.
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Ephesians 4:15
Maybe you feel like you live a life filled with insecurity, and you are tired of living it that way:
KILLING INSECURITY
Unconditional Love
When we have a fresh revelation of how much God loves us, we start to understand that God loves us not for what we do but for who we are. You will then base your value and self-worth in what God says about you. Which in turn will make you feel more secure, and confident in who you are, and what you have been called to do.
Identity
Know who you are in God. Know what God says and thinks about you. Know that you are a child of God, uniquely formed and created with such detail to do only what you can do here on earth.
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
1 Peter 2:9
“Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”
Romans 8:17
I believe that God wants us to a live a life that we can enjoy, one that makes us feel alive and free in Him. I don’t believe God wants you to feel inferior, or burdened by insecurity. If this post spoke to you, then may I encourage you to click on the link below to find out more.