I recently came across this term and to be honest, I’d never heard of it before. Have you? It’s a real word, I promise! The definition of ‘frenemy’ is: “a person or group that is friendly toward another because the relationship brings benefits, but harbors feelings of resentment or rivalry.” Crazy isn’t it?

Have you experienced this before, maybe with a friend or co-worker? I think we all trust our friends and believe the very best, but how would you know if someone is really your friend, or if they’re just pretending?

In my opinion, here are some warning signs you have a frenemy in your life:

  1. Overly Friendly – beware of people who want to be your best friend within minutes of meeting you. Being nice is great but people who go out of their way to do things for you, show you around and invite you over for dinner all within the first few minutes of meeting them, may have an ulterior motive. True friends allow the friendship to grow naturally.
  2. Compliment or Criticism? –  frenemies will compliment you but they’re actually taking a jab at you. This can look something like, “Ooh I like you hair loose instead of that silly bun thing you do.” Ouch! True friends will give you honest answers without making you feel bad about yourself.
  3. Undermines  –  beware of people who always have a comment about others. For instance, you may comment on how kind someone is or how helpful they were and your frenemy answers with, “Yes but do you know that (insert negative, undermining comment here).”  Frenemies like to put wedges between people so that they are the only ones who look good in your eyes. Beware of people who try and alienate you from long standing friends in your life.
  4. Talks Behind Your Back – frenemies will often post gushy comments about you on social media and over flatter so that everyone thinks they are so nice, but in reality, they are tearing you down behind your back. Remember, if someone talks about someone else to you, chances are they’re talking about you to someone else. A true friend is the same to your face as they are behind your back.

If you’re reading this and realize you may have a frenemy in your life, don’t despair. You don’t have to keep people in your life who don’t have your back. You can kindly distance yourself from them and surround yourself with true friends who love you, support you and want only the best for you.

Here is some great wisdom from Christine Caine: “Do not allow people to –

  • Disrespect you
  • Dismiss you
  • Demean you
  • Dishonour you
  • Degrade you
  • Decrease you
  • Disgrace you

If you are merely tolerated and not celebrated, then perhaps you should distance yourself from those who you pull you down and do not lift you up. If staying connected undermines your self-worth, value, esteem, dignity, passion, purpose, contribution, potential or character; DISCONNECT”.

Let’s be choosy about who we share our life with. Let’s be great friends to those who show themselves to be true and kindly distance and disconnect from those who aren’t. You deserve only the best!

To find out more about a relationship with God who is the best friend of all time, click on the link below or on the pop up banner.