I’ve only been in a fight once in my life. In Grade 7, I accidentally tripped over the class bully’s foot and she tore into me like nothing I’d ever experienced. I tried some moves I’d seen on Karate Kid but she was much too quick and experienced for me. As a final resort to get her off me, I shoved her as hard as I could. She ended up tripping over a small step which tore a ligament in her leg. She was on crutches for 6 weeks and every time someone asked her what happened, she had to answer that she had gotten into a fight with me.
My victory was a total accident and stroke of luck, but needless to say I didn’t have any more trouble from her. Nowadays, in the grown up world, we still have people we don’t get along with, but the way we handle this is much different from how we settled scores on the school ground.
So how do you deal with difficult people? Maybe it’s a grumpy neighbour, a competitive school mom or that co-worker that you just dread running into – not to mention having to work with on a project.
Here are a few things to remember when dealing with difficult people that will hopefully keep you from going crazy with frustration:
- Everyone is dealing with something that you know nothing about – Maybe they’ve recently lost someone close to them, or they are having financial difficulty, or they’ve gone through a break-up. We are all facing situations that flow over into our personal and work life and very often impact the way we react and respond to those around us. Before you give them what for, take a second to think about what they might be going through. A little compassion goes a long way. There’s a great verse in the Bible that says, “A kind answer turns away a sharp tongue.”
- Even though it seems like it’s personal, it’s not – when someone is rude to us or treats us unfairly, our first reaction is often to take it personally. We think things like, “They probably don’t like me”; “They got offended when I got the promotion”; or “They’re jealous of me”. But can I shed some light on this today? Very rarely is the way someone treats you about you. It is almost always about them. It’s about their insecurity, their hurts, their disappointment, their issues. They just happen to take it out on you.
So what can you do?
- Try react in the opposite way they are responding to you. That usually defuses the situation.
- Show some kindness and compassion. It will either totally confuse them and freak them out or you might just start to rub off on them.
At the end of the day, difficult people are everywhere. You can rarely escape them. We are not responsible for the actions of others. We are only responsible for our own actions. So be someone you can be proud of. Be someone worth following.
It may not be easy, but it will be worth it!