Have you ever been in a situation where no matter how good you are, or how much effort you put into something, you’ve been left feeling that you’re just not good enough? It’s not a great feeling. I would guess that at some point everyone has had to face being rejected. A few years ago I found myself in just such a situation.
I love to sing. I’ve been doing it most of my life and although I’m never going to win X-factor, I sound ok. A couple of years ago I was asked to sing an item at a fairly big event. I was so excited. We started rehearsing and things were going well. But then, a week away from the event, I got a phone call and was told that I was being replaced. They wanted someone different. I managed to be gracious and understanding on the call – after all it wasn’t meant to be personal – but in all honesty, I was crushed.
They didn’t want me, they wanted someone else.
I felt expendable, unappreciated and undervalued. What hurt the most was that, I wasn’t put aside by people who didn’t know me, I was replaced by people who were my friends. When it came down to it, I wasn’t good enough.
No happy ending?
It’s never easy to dealing with the reality that no matter how much you give or how hard you work, you’re not going to measure up. Whether it’s a job you’ve grafted at only to be passed over or let go, or a relationship where you did everything you could but, through no fault of your own, it still didn’t work out. It’s never easy hearing that your best efforts haven’t been good enough. I’d love to tell you that minds were changed and I was asked to retake my role but we don’t always get the endings we choose. I was, however, able to sit with my friends and talk through how I disappointed and hurt I was and thankfully leave the whole situation behind us and move forward with our relationship still intact, after all no matter how I felt, the intention was never to hurt me.
The choice is yours
Disappointment; hurt; rejection, all these unpleasant things are part of life, part of growth and unavoidable. We are unable to choose or dictate how others receive us, this element is sadly beyond our control. I can’t make people want to include me or see me as valuable, but I can always choose how I will respond when faced with the not so happy endings. Just because my feelings and pride have been wounded doesn’t mean that I am a victim to those emotions. I can rise above the way I feel and show grace. You can choose to forgive when you’re hurt, even though you would rather throw all your toys out of the cot.
Grace is an incredible thing. In the simplest terms it means to give favor or forgiveness when it hasn’t been earned. It’s not always the easiest of responses but the fruit it produces is by far the most rewarding and has the ability to replace bitterness, offense and resentment with peace and a much brighter outlook for the future for both the giver and the receiver.
The most amazing example of grace that I know of, is the grace that God has extended to us. As a race, mankind turned its back on God, it’s Creator, it’s Father. We chose our own wisdom above His and treated Him as valueless. In every way God had every right to be offended, wash His hands and leave us to the mess we had embraced but He didn’t. He chose grace. He gave His most valuable, His most precious, in the person of Jesus so that we didn’t have to continue to be at odds with Him.
If you have been hurt and don’t know how to move on or would like to know more about the grace God offers us, please click the banner below.