One of the most frustrating aspects of raising a child is when you, the parent, struggle to make yourself heard. With enough on your plate to fluster the most masterful multi-tasker, the last thing you need is a child who develops selective hearing whenever you seem to speak. The good news is that, as with many things, this is a fixable situation.
Did you say something?
I love my kids, but nothing gets me more worked up than when I have to repeat a request or an instruction three or four times. A close second is when I make a request and the response is deafening silence. I know my children can hear me perfectly well because they can detect when the fridge is opened while sitting in the other room. In the interest of cordial relations and my own sanity I am on a mission to resolve this pattern of behavior for all of our sakes. Here are some of the solutions I’ve found that may help to combat selective hearing in your family.
Change your position
If you’re issuing instructions or making requests from a different room or the other side of the house, you’re making it much easier for your child to block you out. As tempting (and convenient) as it may be to communicate from far away, the best position to make sure you’re heard loud and clear is face to face. Close the gap between you and your child, get eye contact and speak directly to them.
Keep it simple
If you find that you have to repeat things time and again, it can be tempting to put everything you have to say into one sentence. This can be counter-productive, especially if your children are small. Ask for one thing at a time. Long and involved instructions can be overwhelming. Short and simple is much easier to follow.
Cut the distractions
Television, music, other conversations can all make it really hard for your child to tune in to what you’re saying. Sadly being asked to pick up your socks or find your school bag is never going to be as interesting as their favourite cartoon, so removing the distractions can go a long way to helping your voice be the one that’s heard.
Keep calm
If your frustration begins to bubble over you’re probably going to lose the battle. Getting the desired response is much harder if you’ve lost control of your temper. Keep calm. A cool and collected parent is much nicer to listen to than a ranting crazy person.
Listen
If you expect your children to listen to you and acknowledge your requests, you must show them the same courtesy. Don’t employ selective hearing with your children. When they speak listen and show them that what they say is important to you. If you model the kind of respectful listening that you are seeking you are much more likely to receive it.