Isn’t it amazing that the words we choose to speak on a day-to-day basis have the power to encourage, to build, and to propel us and others to move forward with confidence? Yet on other days, our tongues have the power to negatively shape our thoughts and emotions , which in turn affects our day-to-day behaviour.
Therefore, we need to be conscious of the words that we choose to dwell and speak on. Easier said than done, right? Especially when someone has hurt you. Often, we tend to dwell on the things that others have said or have done to us. We relive those moments in our minds, and then vent constantly to others about it as a means of “gaining perspective”. However, if we keep talking about it, we keep reliving it, which in turn means we are not moving past it.
MOVING PAST NEGATIVE WORDS
God wants us to live a life that is light and full of His goodness, not one that leaves us feeling heavy and oppressed. We all have default settings that we retreat into as a means of dealing with issues and protecting ourselves. Some of our default settings can cause more harm than good. If we want to grow and move forward from hurt, we need to rewire the way we think and speak.
1. ACKNOWLEDGE THE HURT
Often we react out of what we feel. Sometimes we can react negatively as a means of justifying our pain. At other times we pretend like the pain isn’t there, and we become resentful and suffer in silence; or we may choose to behave in a passive-aggressive way towards others, which isn’t healthy for us in the long term. We need to address the matters of the heart by looking at it and by actively being aware of wanting to deal with the hurt.
2. CHOOSE TO FORGIVE
Forgiveness is an ongoing decision – it’s something we need to be conscious of doing. Choosing to forgive allows us to heal by letting the offence go, which in turns frees us from any pain or disappointment. Choosing to forgive isn’t always easy; we need God’s grace to help us and we need His wisdom when moving forward from the hurt and from the offender.
3. DWELL ON
What we think, we feel; what we feel, we speak of. Which in turn influences our emotions and behaviour. Sometimes, we need to pause for a second, and really reflect on what it is we focus and dwell on. We need to ask ourselves if what we are thinking on is going to negatively or positively influence us.
4. SPEAK GOODNESS
Let’s be honest, it is so hard to actively choose to speak kindly of others, especially if they have hurt us directly or indirectly. It’s also hard to speak life over what feels like a dark season to us. We all know that our words hold weight and power and can define how we live our day-to-day. Therefore if we speak negatively all the time, whether it’s about others or about our current situations, it will negatively impact our moods. If we are conscious about actively speaking words that speak of hope, love, and courage, our thoughts and emotional behaviour will change.
5. ASK YOURSELF
We live in a day and age where everyone is vocal about everything (especially online). Everyone has an opinion, and often it’s a negative one. We may even find ourselves in conversations where we are talking without realising the weight and impact of our words.
I once read this quote that says ;
“The words of the tongue, should have three gatekeepers:
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?”
Sometimes, we need to filter our words and conversations before we speak. Our words have the power of life or death, and our words can be used as a means of encouraging and empowering. Let’s be conscious of choosing our words wisely. If this post spoke to you and you would like to know more, then may I encourage you to click on the link below.