Have you ever noticed that doing things alone is sometimes seen as being pitiable? If someone is eating lunch at a restaurant by themselves, you probably most likely to think ‘That’s sad! They’re on their own”. Society encourages a level of independence and yet when it comes to certain activities, especially out and about activities, doing them solo is thought of as odd.

They travel in packs

I love my own company. Give me a book, a quiet house and space to think and I’m a happy camper, but I have to admit that the idea of going travelling alone, choosing to book a table for one or attending a party solo is not my idea of fun. Maybe it’s a girl thing? After all we are notorious for even going to the bathroom in groups, but I think there is a desire to be with others that is universal. As human beings we are social animals. Community is fun. It’s generous and together feels more secure than striking out alone. There are times, however, when breaking rank is necessary, so it’s a good idea to learn to be comfortable with your own company, for when those occasions arise.

How to go it alone (and still be okay):

Don’t worry

Being by yourself can feel a little vulnerable but don’t be afraid. Often when you are forced to do something alone it can feel like everyone knows you’re by yourself and is somehow judging you. (Psychologists call this the spotlight effect) Don’t panic. Most people won’t even notice and if they do, what they think of you is their business not yours. Chin up, shoulders back and own your space.

Start small

If you’re used to doing everything with someone else, may be it’s not a good idea to book an around the world trip all by your lonesome. First up, try a solo shopping expedition or a single movie viewing. Yes it may feel a little strange at first but short and sweet bursts of doing things without anyone beside you will help you get used to, and eventually enjoy, the experience.

Grow

It can be easy to follow the crowd and leave the decision-making to others but when you’re on your own all the decisions and choices are yours to make. Use the opportunity to discover your own opinions, set your own schedule and learn about the world around you. It’s amazing what you can discover when you open your eyes and ears, not to your companions but to your surroundings.

Flying solo

Inevitably there are going to be times in life when you will need to do things by yourself. One day you may find yourself in a situation where you have to stand alone and make a choice that means you leave the crowd and have to walk your own path.   If you think about it, you come into this world alone and you will leave in much the same way. It’s hardly surprising then that the choice about what happens after you die is also a path that you must take alone. Jesus said that anyone who recognises their need of a saviour, and acknowledges that He is the only one who can save them, will be welcomed into an eternity with Him when their life on earth comes to an end. The choice is something that you must make alone. You can’t follow the crowd or piggyback on someone else’s decision. It’s your call.

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